Back at your desk but mentally somewhere else?

Every January, many working women in Singapore return to their desks carrying more than just a new planner or fresh intentions. They return with questions and perhaps a few doubts about career progression, work–life balance, confidence, and whether the role they are in still fits who they are today. Against a backdrop of economic uncertainty, organisational changes, and constant pressure to perform, it’s understandable that so many women feel unsettled at the start of the year. Searches around feeling stuck at work, changing careers, or losing motivation tend to rise in January, not because women are failing, but because they are questioning.

For some, work is a passion, and for others, it’s something they need to do. Most women sit somewhere in between, trying to find a rhythm that allows them to stay motivated, feel fulfilled, and still have the flexibility to show up for the different roles in their lives such as mother, daughter, partner or friend. As a life coach at Sheens Consulting who works closely with women in transition, I see this tension play out in different ways. While every story is unique, the challenges often fall into three phases - returning to work after a baby, feeling stuck despite doing “all the right things”, and knowing you want a change but not quite knowing how to move forward.

For women returning to work after having a baby, the transition can be particularly complex. Recently, I worked with a client who came back to work after her 4 months maternity leave and the months that followed became the most difficult and harrowing of her career. She was juggling a toxic work environment, an unreasonable boss, hormonal changes, breastfeeding, and the constant mental load of needing to prove herself again, all while trying to be present as a new mother. Over time, her confidence slowly eroded and her self-esteem plummeted. What began as determined new mother back at work, eventually turned into self-doubt and loss of self-esteem.

After struggling for several months, she made the decision to leave and move into an environment that was more aligned with her values, her boundaries, and the life she wanted to build. What changed wasn’t just her job, it was her clarity and ability to make the best decision for herself. By taking the time to reflect on what balance truly meant for her, and by reconnecting with both her personal and professional goals, she was able to make a decision from strength rather than fear.

For many other women, however, the struggle is quieter.

They return to the same role, the same routine and same pressures, but without the motivation they once had. They scroll job listings during lunch breaks, question themselves late at night, and feel a sense of guilt for wanting more when nothing is technically “wrong.” This feeling is far more common than we realise. According to a recent Straits Times report, 47 per cent of workers in Singapore say they feel mentally or physically exhausted after work, while more than two in five struggle to stay motivated, particularly when they don’t feel valued or supported in their workplace. For many women, this exhaustion doesn’t show up as burnout, but rather it shows up as feeling stuck.

Feeling stuck doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful or unambitious. Often, it simply means you haven’t had the space to step back and ask yourself what you really want now. This is why I consistently encourage clients to create small pockets of uninterrupted thinking time, even just 30 minutes (set a timer) away from devices, demands, and distractions. Not to solve problems, but to think. To write. To imagine. What kind of environment would support you at this stage of your life? Which values matter more now than they did a few years ago? What would a future that feels energising actually look like? You can do this while you shower, drive, in your yoga class, or during an evening walk to declutter and organize your thoughts.

Clarity doesn’t need to come from taking time off. Sometimes, it comes from giving yourself permission and time to think. Then there are women who already know they want a change but they just don’t know how to move from where they are to where they want to be. What holds them back is rarely ability. More often, it’s confidence. When clients reach this stage, I ask them to look at themselves through three lenses: the inside, the outside, and their mindset. The inside relates to the beliefs, fears, and mental blocks that keep them in inertia. Letting go of these is often the hardest part of any transition. The outside reflects how they show up; their behaviour, communication, and presence - all areas where complacency can quietly creep in over time. And mindset is the thread that ties everything together: the belief that change is possible, even when it feels uncomfortable.

True career transitions require alignment across all three. And support matters. Mentors, trusted peers, family members, or professionals can help cut through the noise, create clarity, and turn vague ideas into tangible goals. Sometimes, progress also begins with very practical shifts, like turning a few hours of mindless scrolling and entertainment into education. Skill-building, and online resources are more accessible than ever. Time is often there; it’s how we choose to use it that moves us forward.

It’s easy to begin the year with good intentions, and just as easy to get pulled back into routine. Work, family, and responsibilities quickly fill the space meant for reflection. This year, I encourage women to be gentle but intentional with their time. Revisit your goals regularly, not just at the start of the year, but week by week. Create space to think, to realign, and to ask for support when you need it.

Career transitions don’t happen overnight. But with clarity, alignment, and the right support, they do happen. And you don’t have to navigate them alone.

Shireena Shroff Manchharam is a Her World Tribe member, the founder and principal consultant of Sheens Consulting, and the founder and creator of Getting To Happy, a mental health movement to inspire our community and society to live happier, more mindful lives.