15 life lessons to learn from Jade Seah

“Being in nature, being physically active, and sharing deep connections with loved ones refuel me. When we are resilient, we have the courage to step out of our comfort zone, and drawing on our resilience reserves helps us through shaky periods of uncertainty that life changes inevitably bring.

We only have one life, and you don’t want to be asking “What if?” on your deathbed. So, take time to get to know yourself better. Be brutally honest about your strengths and weaknesses, draw on activities and people that anchor you, and take that leap of faith.”

“Many times, I simply tell friends I don’t need gifts, mostly to spare them the pain of gift shopping, but also because I truly feel blessed in so many ways with just the gift of their presence in my life. Another suggestion when stumped: Make a donation in their name to a worthy cause – it’s meaningful, thoughtful and environmentally sustainable.”

“To constantly question, to know what you want, and to have the courage to reject what does not fit; to insist on as human a connection as we can get in these Covid times (video calls!)… I think we can learn a thing or two from these “young people”.”

“Science has shown how a love of learning and a growth mindset affects our relationship with success and failure (both professionally and personally), and how this ultimately affects our well-being and capacity for happiness.

Research also shows that learning new skills improves one’s mental wellness by boosting self-confidence, raising self-esteem and helping with a sense of purpose. A fringe benefit of learning is connecting and engaging with other people who share similar interests.

I hope that you too will take charge of your happiness and mental health, and embrace a growth mindset. Learn to thrive on challenges, and view failure not as an indication of a lack of intelligence, but as a heartening catalyst for growth and a chance to stretch your innate abilities.”

“If there’s something we can learn from studies about the benefits of marriage, it’s that we don’t need to rush to find a life partner. After all, only those who are in marriages where spouses consider each other their best friends end up significantly happier. Your well-being improves from having a meaningful relationship with your partner, not just because you are known as “married”.

So, never let your family, friends, society or a perceived sense of urgency pressure you into settling down. And here’s some sensible advice: Don’t marry someone you can live with; only settle down with one you can’t live without.”

“I am not sure when I started to become happy with my body, but this definitely came with the passing of time. One of the joys of ageing is feeling a sense of acceptance and knowing that there is no point in coveting curves that I’m not blessed with – and learning to celebrate the parts of my body that I actually like.”

“I am thankful for the people who took the time to celebrate me, with the sumptuous food I have been treated to, the bottles of bubbly popped, the candles atop the many chocolate cakes that I have blown out… But most of all, I am thankful for the gift of everyone’s time, planning and setting aside precious hours to spend with me. I love all the fun activities (my friends know I prefer experiences to gifts!) and cool places, but truly, I have enjoyed their company the most, connecting over shared meals and experiences.

In a world where youth is prized, I am quite amazed that I have never felt as happy and content as I do now at 38. In deliberately simplifying my life over the past few years, spurred on by the pandemic that made me question what really mattered, I feel blessed that there is nothing material that I could possibly want.”

“I make time to meditate daily, even if it’s just for a minute because something is better than nothing. Like with exercise, I don’t tie myself down to a routine when it comes to meditating. If I manage 10 minutes in the morning, or sometime during the day, I will do it. Otherwise, I meditate before I sleep at night.

I am also very conscious of my energy as well as my happiness levels throughout the day, and I don’t let them dip below a certain level if I can help it. This helps me with being more resilient. For example, if I find myself drained by something, I will make time to replenish my energy and happiness via something else that brings me joy, such as sports or hanging out with loved ones.

Another thing I do, though not on a daily basis, is to journal. This helps me to be more aware of my thoughts and feelings.”

“Ironically, it was only in my 30s – with the arrival of fine lines and the first signs of ageing – that I started to fully embrace the looks I was given. For example, throughout most of my youth, I insisted on having bangs to cover my high forehead. These days, I’ll happily pull my hair off my face and feel no less attractive for it.

I am fully aware that there will always be someone younger and prettier. However, I also know that there is only one of me – not just in terms of looks, but also in terms of personality. Meeting so many kinds of people over the course of my life has made me realise that a person’s beauty comprises so many facets. One’s physical features, and the proportions in which they exist with other elements, contribute to one’s attractiveness, for sure. But other things, like wit, character, disposition and charisma, also add to the sum of a person’s appeal.

I finally feel beautiful in my mid-30s, and what led to this shift had nothing to do with meeting beauty standards or ideals. And I certainly wish that more women would realise this sooner than I did!”

“It taught me that money is simply a means – it should not be the end goal. These days, I see it as a route to freedom – to be able to eat, drink and experience the things that my heart desires. I spend on experiences that I love, like wakeboarding – and on those whom I love, such as taking my folks out to eat or buying nice things for them.”

“I’ve learnt that minimalism isn’t about deprivation. It’s about appreciating each and every entity in our lives, so that we choose only the best, and the things that spark joy each time (take that, Marie Kondo!) – and thus, we need no excess.”

“The best leaders are aware of their strengths and inadequacies. They are able to effectively delegate tasks in areas where they fall short. The greatest lesson I learnt is to first practise self-leadership. Because life and work are so intertwined now, it’s essential to set one’s own course, follow it, and correct it along the way, in order to be an effective leader.”

“Be fully present in each moment. I’ve learnt to put away my phone, to really listen and spend time with loved ones, and to immerse myself in something I enjoy, such as sports. To be fully engaged is when we experience what is known as a “state of flow”, and being in this state regularly is vital to our well-being.”

“Writing a diary has helped me to understand myself: my real dreams, hopes, fears and insecurities, and true values. The easiest way is to write whatever comes to mind. Write about anything that happened, and how it made you feel.”

“Relationships are one of the largest contributors to human happiness. Pick quality over quantity. Real connections, the courage to be vulnerable, and knowing one is loved, heard and supported are the things that set happy people apart.”

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