As far as your bosses are concerned, you’re a superstar employee with an amazing career ahead of you.
You perform well consistently (and have the raises and promotions to show for it), and have been praised for being “competent and the best at what you do”.
Despite your successes, you don’t think you’re anything special. You assume you just lucked out, or that your colleagues are just being nice. Dig a little deeper and the way you truly feel becomes more apparent: You don’t believe you’re as skilled or talented as your peers; you haven’t really done anything to earn anybody’s praise; you don’t belong where you are; you’re a fake – an imposter – and you’re going to be called out for it.
Imposter syndrome can be damaging to your emotional health, and may negatively impact your career. But the good news is that you can break those harmful thought patterns, and stop them from holding you back, both emotionally and career-wise.
It may appear that imposter syndrome affects women more because they tend to be more vocal about their fears than men.
Dr Lim Boon Leng, psychiatrist at Dr BL Lim Centre for Psychological Wellness
Learning from failure
Imposter syndrome can be described as a cognitive distortion that prevents you from internalising your job achievements. It involves feelings of self-doubt, personal incompetence, and a fear of failure. This may manifest in you downplaying your accomplishments and avoiding celebrating your successes, crediting your career wins to luck or other people rather than your own skills and qualifications, and working yourself to the bone to meet others’ expectations and relieve any insecurities you may have about slipping up. And, when you do slip up, you often feel like a failure.
Sandra Quelle, founder and principal career coach at The Happy Mondays Co says that imposter syndrome permeates the workplace. According to the recent KPMG Women’s Leadership Summit Report, 75 per cent of executive women report experiencing imposter syndrome at some point in their careers.
“In my experience, the social, cultural, economic, and family dynamics of the person play a significant role in one’s feelings of imposter syndrome. For instance, growing up with the pressure to achieve, or receiving mixed messages of over-praising and criticism can confuse anyone to believe that love and worthiness are by-products of achievement.”
Society judges women in the workplace more harshly than it does men. This cycle of social conditioning starts young. It forces women to make a home on a tightrope. To be more, but not too much. To be heard, but not loud. To be respected, but to be liked more. That rope has only enough space for you to question yourself in an unending cycle of self-judgement masked as self-improvement.
Krystal Clavier-Choo, innovator, technology entrepreneur and transformative executive coach
Pursuing perfection
While imposter syndrome is believed to be more common in women, studies show that both men and women experience it equally, says Dr Lim Boon Leng, a psychiatrist at Dr BL Lim Centre for Psychological Wellness.
“It may appear that imposter syndrome affects women more because they tend to be more vocal about their fears than men.
“Women also tend to be at a higher risk of developing anxiety disorders, and as some women may be more susceptible to over-worrying, the fear of not being good enough may be more prevalent.
“In some societies, women are expected to be homemakers and mothers rather than highachieving, career-focused individuals. As such, women in these societies who find success in their jobs often feel like they don’t deserve it.”
Krystal Clavier-Choo, an innovator, technology entrepreneur and transformative executive coach, has a similar take: “Society judges women in the workplace more harshly than it does men. This cycle of social conditioning starts young. It forces women to make a home on a tightrope. To be more, but not too much. To be heard, but not loud. To be respected, but to be liked more. That rope has only enough space for you to question yourself in an unending cycle of self-judgement masked as self-improvement.
Women are more likely than others to experience imposter syndrome, that is, they see themselves as being perfect or as having failed. These women have high expectations of themselves and never feel that they’re good enough. They may find it hard to handle these feelings if they’re high achievers in very competitive fields.
Dr Lim Boon Leng, psychiatrist at Dr BL Lim Centre for Psychological Wellness
“That tight rope does not have enough space for celebrating yourself, allowing success and praise to feel good, or to feel like a master at what you do and entitled to the rewards because of the value you bring. This system ensures that, the more your capability grows, the more your self-esteem erodes.
“Unhealthy self-esteem warps how you see your work. You never think it’s good enough, because you don’t see yourself as good enough at your core.
“Confidence and self-belief are thus acts of resistance. It is anarchy against the social conditioning forced down our throats.”
Dr Lim adds that some women are more likely than others to experience imposter syndrome, in particular, those with perfectionistic tendencies who are easily anxious, and who tend to think in “black and white”, that is, they see themselves as being perfect or as having failed. These women have high expectations of themselves and never feel that they’re good enough. They may find it hard to handle these feelings if they’re high achievers in very competitive fields.
You are enough
Imposter syndrome is associated with low self-esteem and low self-efficacy. People who experience it think poorly of themselves and of their ability to complete a task or a goal.
It’s also associated with anxiety – individuals believe that they will ultimately be exposed and therefore live under tremendous stress.
In the long term, Dr Lim says that these problems can lead to work burnout, and are risk factors for anxiety disorders and depression.
When burnout sets in, people with imposter syndrome may start to feel cynical about their work, and even distance themselves from it. Their productivity may be adversely affected if these feelings intensify.
Sandra adds that many women are afraid of being exposed as an imposter, and may choose self-preserving actions. These include: not raising their hand for a high-visibility project, keeping quiet even when they disagree with a decision, or sabotaging (often unconsciously) their chance for a promotion.
It’s a key pillar in a negative cognitive cycle, leading to feelings of low self-worth and poor psychological well-being. Sociability, improvement, and performance should not come at the expense of mental health.
Krystal Clavier-Choo, innovator, technology entrepreneur and transformative executive coach
Imposter syndrome has sometimes been mislabelled as a force for good, but Krystal disagrees.
“It’s a key pillar in a negative cognitive cycle, leading to feelings of low self-worth and poor psychological well-being. I radically disagree with this line of thinking. Sociability, improvement, and performance should not come at the expense of mental health. Instead, I encourage women to reject it and learn to quiet that deprecating and punitive inner voice, while also realising that they can be capable and confident. They can be performant and feel good at the same time.
“If you ‘use’ the judgmentalism of imposter syndrome, you’re equating feeling bad inside to doing better outside. You criticise yourself and keep improving, hoping you’ll feel more capable, like you belong, yet simultaneously grow more attached to the self-abuse. It’s beyond unhealthy, especially when there are more self-compassionate routes to achievement.”
One of the first steps to overcoming imposter syndrome is to give yourself a reality check and acknowledge your own value, says Dr Lim. Remind yourself that your company wouldn’t have hired you if you did not have the prerequisite skills or experience.
“You have to find the rebel in you to not accept that line of thought (that you’re an imposter),” says Krystal.
“First, realise when you are seeking approval and permission, and pause. Give yourself that affirmation. You have to learn to realise that your thoughts are not reality. And your thoughts are from you, but are not you. Learn to quiet that voice, or at least reply, ‘This is exactly where I belong. I earned this. I worked for this. I deserve this’.”
Second, find a mentor or speak to someone you trust who can help you realise that your self-doubt is unfounded.
“These are people you’ve discerned to have your well-being in mind,” Krystal points out. “Ask them openly for encouragement. You’ll be surprised at how willing people are to share what they think is amazing about you. Learn to believe them.”
Finally, question if your fixation on these negative beliefs is useful to you or your company. “Stop indulging these untrue and unhelpful thoughts and feelings about being an imposter,” says Dr Lim.
“Instead, channel your energy towards improving yourself or your work, if indeed you feel that there’s room for improvement.”
Need tips on how to build up your self-confidence? Here’s how, says The Happy Mondays Co’s Sandra.