Sex when you’re feeling bloated can be all sorts of unpleasant; you not only feel heavy, but may also feel less attractive, which eliminates any ability to have fun. But that doesn’t mean you can’t try, particularly when you’re actually feeling it with your partner. Dr Martha Tara Lee, a clinical sexologist and relationship coach at Eros Coaching, tells us four ways you can actually have a good time even when feeling sluggish.
Your feeling of bloatedness is an internal sensation and physical manifestation. A lot of the time, it is more a feeling and not reality. When you’re not feeling your best, wear something that conceals the parts you don’t feel comfortable with, like your tummy in this case. Sexiness can be invoked, which will make your sexual experience better. Lingerie can help you accentuate the parts of your body that you do like.
We tend to overthink and faking it is a form of breaking cycles of thought and behaviours that aren’t good for us. Try pretending to be somebody else. When your new actions became automatic, they will start to feel natural, hence creating a ‘new normal’. You can start by using positive self-talk every time you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, like saying to yourself ‘I’m so sexy’ even if you’re feeling off that day.
Sex doesn’t always have to be penetrative sex and doing the deed in the same way all the time can be boring. Offer to do something else every once in a while, like giving a hand job or performing fellatio. You can make a suggestion by saying ‘Sweetheart, I’m not feeling my best, but I’d love to do this for you instead’ or ‘Honey, I’m feeling bloated and not feeling like being too active today. I’d like you to take the lead and be on top.’
If having some parts of your body touched will distract you from having fun because it makes you feel bad about yourself, let your partner know before they lay their hands on you. Speaking up for yourself, saying ‘not today’ or ‘not that way’ is a way of taking care of yourself. Turning off the lights, avoiding certain positions, and simply not doing it is part of protecting yourself. Your partner isn’t a mind-reader and will appreciate you sharing the truth rather than going through the motions and ending up with resentment.