Singaporeans both male and female open up to Her World about their secret sexual fetishes

“Whenever my husband and I are having sex in the missionary position, I ask him to hold my wrists above my head and pin me down as hard and forcefully as he can, so that I can barely move. In this position I feel really vulnerable and helpless, because he’s the one in control and I’m submitting to him. It sounds unusual or even crazy but it’s the only way I can have powerful orgasms.” – Shirley*, 35, banker

All photos: 123rf

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“Sex is the only time I allow my partner to say vulgar things to me. I love it when he uses x-rated words to describe various parts of our bodies and to tell me what he’s going to do to me. When things are really heating up in the bedroom, a couple of dirty – and even degrading – lines are all it takes to send me over the edge.” – Valerie*, 34, writer

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“I don’t mind a little discomfort, or even pain, during sex. What turns me on the most is when my husband and I are having doggy-style sex, and he grabs a handful of my hair and tugs hard at it until I yelp out in pain. There’s something so animalistic and primal about it. A couple of times my husband pulled a little too hard and I thought he was going to rip my hair out – I had to tell him to go easy!” – Lee*, 40, freelance editor

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“A couple of years ago, my husband and I invested in one of those fancy, high-pressure shower heads, and pretty soon I found out where else I could use it. Now it’s an essential part of foreplay for us. We start by taking a shower together. My husband then positions the shower head strategically on my genitals and moves it around until I feel like I’m on the brink of an orgasm. Then, depending on our mood, we have sex right there and then, in the shower, or we continue the party in the bedroom.” – Kaye*, 38, teacher

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“My boyfriend and I have this game where we dress up and pretend to be other people who are meeting and having sex for the first time. In the past, I’ve donned a sexy outfit and hung out in a bar, waiting for him to chat me up and then take me home to have sex. Another time, I pretended to be a frumpy but sexually frustrated housewife in a supermarket, and begging for this handsome ‘stranger’ to have sex with me. Of course there’s some acting involved but it’s always fun and it turns us both on.” – Jean*, 30, music teacher

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“I like being dominated in the bedroom. Fortunately, my fiancée is very skilled at indulging my fetish. Sometimes she pretends to be my boss and scolds me for being a bad employee; other times she yells at me and threatens to spank or slap me if I don’t do as she says. It’s all in good fun, of course. It excited me to see her act that way, because I love strong, dominant women who aren’t afraid to call the shots.” – Louis*, 35, producer

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“My girlfriend looks a little like one of my favourite Korean movie stars, and I love it when she dresses up like her, complete with the fake eyelashes and coloured contact lenses. Sometimes, while we’re having sex, she’ll tell me to pretend that she’s the movie star and even ask me to call her by the celebrity’s name. That always turns me on. Don’t get me wrong, my girlfriend is amazing as she is and doesn’t need to pretend to be someone else for me to get aroused; it’s just our way of adding spice to our sex life every now and again.” – Jay*, 39, architect

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“For some weird reason I love it when my girlfriend drips hot wax all over my body. While she’s doing this, I am not allowed to move. The melted wax does hurt and burn my skin a little but I like the way it feels. After several minutes of this form of foreplay, I’m super-aroused and ready to make love. Recently we bought a massage candle and that’s been fun to use – we simply light it to melt the wax, which is actually solidified massage oil, and once my girlfriend has dripped the melted product all over my body, she gives me a body-to-body massage. The sex that follows is always hot – pardon the pun!” – Jeremiah*, 33, chef

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“What I really like is when my girlfriend ties or handcuffs me to the bed. I love that feeling of being completely helpless while she teases me and takes control of my sexual pleasure. When I’m really to be untied or for my handcuffs to be removed I tell her, and after that I take over.” – Jamie*, 32, finance executive

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“My fiancée is a trained classical dancer – she is very physical and sensual, and she loves to do striptease dances for me. I must admit, since we got together a few years ago, her erotic performances are something I can’t live without. All I have to do is sit back and watch her move to the music. She starts out fully clothed, but by the end of her private show she’s just left with her sexy undies and lace stockings. Her provocative dancing turns me on every single time. It never gets old!” – Benjamin*, 35, artist

*Names have been changed

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