The biggest sex trends we’ll be seeing in 2023

The world that we live in has become more complex – smartphones and social media have led to a state of constant overstimulation and we are used to having a constant availability of entertainment. Many people feel stressed as well as exhausted in this constant state of overwhelming choices and overstimulation. As a result, people are searching for a balance: mindfulness apps, workshops and books are all booming.

Buzzwords like conscious consumption and quality over quantity have also reached our love lives. Whether it is solo-sex or sex with a partner, the journey rather than the destination is becoming the center of attention. Sexual mindfulness means less casual dating and performance-centered sex, but more self-focused interactions. For sex with a partner, it means focusing on the partner and one’s body, really being in the moment without any pressure to perform or climax.

“Whether through self-pleasure or partner play, the ability to experience the intensity of pleasure or an orgasmic experience is directly correlated to how present and centered the person is with their own body. This requires the same process of creating a mindfulness process by slowing down, being present with breathing, being less in the head and more aware of the body sensations.” Explains Sexual Wellness Educator Andrea Tan.

“Over the last 3 years, people have been often stuck in a low anxiety vigilant mode around possible environmental, medical concerns and potential separation from restriction that can change at any time. Recreating connections intentionally, especially via intimacy and releasing the low anxiety tension build-up in the body through pleasure, is something more people are open to. They are really just looking for ways to be more conscious about self-pleasure or the intimate interactions in partner play so as to restore connections with their own body and partner.”

After a year of bad news, we are happy to share some good news: former taboo topics such as menstruation, sex and (female) sexuality are being discussed more openly. A shift that has been strongly driven by women and members of the LGBTQI+ community who are speaking out loudly against prejudice and stigmatization. Of course, social media and the availability of information have helped many individuals to take control of their own narratives.

Younger generations in particular approach intimate topics with greater confidence and curiosity than the generation beforehand. Our global survey has shown that when learning about masturbation, the internet as a source of information (39%) plays an equally important role as trying it out (41%) for young people between 18-24 years old. Asking the same question to people aged 35 and older, the majority only learned about self-love by trying it out (53%), followed by talking to friends and family as a source of information (26%). Despite strict rules on what can be shown on Instagram and TikTok, the number of channels that talk about sex ed has grown significantly. Gen Z especially turns to these channels for information and education.

Open intimacy leads to better communication about our needs and desires. A better exchange on what is needed for sexual fulfilment ultimately leads to better relationships and more sexual happiness. Taken offline, we can see a similar trend in supermarkets and drug stores: whether it is trendy period products or sex toys, the packaging and product design have changed to turn them into lifestyle products. Fashionable vulva-themed t-shirts or boob-socks are next to avocado and donut socks on the shelves. Sexual wellness products can now be bought in supermarkets, pharmacies and drug stores.

Would you have sex with a sex-robot? If yes, then you are one of 36% of people who would be curious enough to try it out. While cybersex and virtual experiences have gained popularity during the pandemic, people are now looking for experiences in the real world again. Instead of a full virtual sexperience, people want the best of both worlds. In the same way that we got used to technology making our everyday lives easier and better.

Sex toys are getting smarter: Some offer app-connectivity, others are equipped with heat-function or can automatically adapt vibration patterns to music. Our global survey has shown that more than half of the respondents (60%) are open to using a sex toy that can be controlled via an app. While this is not new, the appetite is still there and has survived the pandemic. When asked why they are using or would like to use app-controlled sex toys, the main response was to “spice things up in the bedroom” (79%). Overcoming distance to a partner who is in another place was only named by 26% of respondents. Now and in the future, consumers will continue to expect sex toys to be smart and connected.

Other technologies that unite the digital and analogue world are Augmented Reality (AR), Mixed Reality, Virtual Reality and Artificial Intelligence. These technologies will change the way we shop online in the future. With AR, customers are already capable of trying on glasses, digitally placing furniture in their flat or trying on clothes virtually. For something as intimate as sex toys, getting an idea of size and shape from the comfort of your home will help guide many customers through the ever-growing ranges of dildos, vibrators, and butt plugs.

After two years of distance and isolation, a renewed desire for intimacy is shaking up the dating culture. Rather than casual dating, singles are more interested in “slow love”, prioritizing an emotional connection and meaningful conversations at the onset, while also ensuring sexual compatibility.

According to our global survey, 27% of Singaporean women and 38% of Singaporean men dive into the topic of sexual desires and fantasies within the first three months of dating. Not surprisingly, the most common fantasies are quite different for men and for women. Top three sexual fantasies for men are “having romantic sex”, “having sex with someone that isn’t my partner”, “having passionate or meaningful sex” and “oral sex”. While women fantasize about romantic sex, passionate or meaningful sex and power/control/rough sex. Of course, sexual fantasies have existed for as long as humans have, but talking about them and acting upon them is part of the overall trend toward destigmatizing sexuality.

While we are talking about sex more openly, there is one body part that is still occupied with shame and other negative feelings: the butt. Of course, as with any other exchange of intimacies and sexual encounters, anal stimulation requires consent. If all parties are interested and open to exploring, there is much to discover and enjoy.

Especially, when looking at male pleasure, the prostate as erogenous zone is often overlooked. It is accessible through the anus and, when properly massaged, can provide unparalleled pleasure a man can experience alone or with a partner. The prostate is a gland about the size of a chestnut, made up of muscle tissue and located below the bladder near the erectile tissue of the urethra. A global study brought to light that four out of five men have never heard of the prostate as an erogenous zone. Yet, 34 % of male respondents are aware, but have never tried to stimulate it. Furthermore, the study revealed that 35 percent of men have tried anal sex and like it. However, if we look more closely at the percentage of men who answered “yes”, 67 per cent said they only give anal sex but do not receive it.

If not ready to try it with a partner, masturbation is a great way to explore the anal region. Keep in mind that anal masturbation is not a sprint, but an explorative journey.

“You don’t have to force yourself to try it, but if it’s something that you want to explore by yourself or as a couple, definitely take your time and practice relaxing through the process. With preparation and the willingness to take your time exploring over several sessions, you build an ability to feel safe and comfortable gradually exploring anal stimulation and eventually, penetration. Tools like lubricants and anal toys are extremely helpful, so don’t be shy to use them generously. Who knows, you will discover a new range of sexual pleasure, and in future might want to even combine it with vaginal or g-spot simulation for a double penetration masturbation technique” explains Andrea Tan.

We-Vibe Vector+ is a nice way to approach anal pleasure or to intensify play with the erogenous zones. With its two motors, We-Vibe Vector+ is stimulating anus and prostate as well as the perineum simultaneously. It can be integrated in various sexual practices, is extremely versatile and suitable for both solo sex and fun for two.

Looking at partnered sex, porn has taught us that anal play is primarily penetrative. However, a recent study by Indiana University has shown that three different ways to stimulate the anus can bring pleasure to women: Anal Surfacing, Anal Shallowing and Anal Pairing. Anal Surfacing which 40% of participating women find pleasurable describes the touching on and around the anus without penetration. Anal Shallowing is the touching just inside the opening, but not very deep while Anal Pairing, probably commonly known is the touch on or inside the anus at the same time as vaginal penetration or clitoral stimulation.

In summary, there is a lot to explore and new pleasure zones to discover around the anus. Well-being and pleasure are close together here and open up a deep access to one’s own body, sexuality and connection.

Data for the 2023 Sex Trends report is provided by Lovehoney Group. 

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