Things that happen in porn, but should not happen IRL

You’re in the midst of making out with your man, enjoying a round of foreplay when suddenly, he stops momentarily to slip on a thin veil of latex. Not exactly the way we pictured it when watching porn.

But ladies, if a man insists on having sex without a condom and you’re not comfortable with the idea, please start running away. Unless it was discussed prior or if you’re looking to have kids, you should always be having sex with a condom.

Not only does it protect you from an unwanted pregnancy, condoms can also protect you from sexually transmitted diseases.

The reason porn actors almost never have to use a condom in porn is because they often have to get tested. In the city of Los Angeles in the U.S., sex workers have to be tested every 30 days in order for their names to be cleared in a database that allows them to get roles in films. However, as Michael Weinstein, president of the AIDS Healthcare Foundation in Los Angeles told ABC News, “No test can detect HIV from the moment of infection. There will always be a window period.” Let that sink in for a bit.

Unless agreed upon, slapping is a huge no-no. While a smack on the bum during doggy style could turn some women on, we’ve seen clips where the male actor in porn slaps his co-star’s boob or vaginal area, only for her to moan in excitement whilst begging for more. We don’t know about you but the thought of someone slapping us in the places mentioned above would deflate our lady boners in no time because ouch!

That said, if that turns you on, you do you, but if he slaps you without permission, voice out your discomfort or high-tail outta there if he refuses to listen.

Semen facials are a popular fixture in porn but… do girls really enjoy it? To some women, it can seem a little degrading if a man ejaculates all over their face and other body parts. To top that off, semen can be really hard to get out of your hair once it has dried. Plus, it can feel kind of slimy, so it might not be everyone’s cup of tea. But if you enjoy bukkake, there’s no reason to stop doing it.

For some women, swallowing a guy’s semen can be enjoyable or a major turn-on. Often, in porn, female actors are seen either excitedly waiting on their partner to finish or could be helping their male counterparts reach the point of orgasm, just to swallow their load later on. In reality though, the taste of semen might not exactly appeal to everyone and some women have complained about how it triggers their gag reflex, making them want to puke.

An aspect of submission and dirty-talking, name-calling can be exciting to some because it’s similar to role-playing and is all part of the act during sex. However, certain names can be degrading to some and it’s worth discussing with your partner before trying anything like that out. Let him know your limits and it’s important to know his too.

Another thing often seen in porn is the use of spit as lubricant or even as a form of BDSM-type play on a person. But it has to be said that spitting can seem disrespectful because people usually spit on others to show contempt or out of disgust. And in case it wasn’t obvious enough, spit is a terrible—TERRIBLE—form of lubricant. Saliva contains digestive enzymes and frankly it’s just not enough to lubricate someone for a long sex session. Do yourselves a favour and invest in lube!

Repeat after us: Porn was created to mimic fantasy.

There are some… interesting positions like the pretzel. You know, the one with the girl’s legs behind her head? Yeah, they’re created for camera. The thing about porn directors is that they’re always after the best angles and they’re paid to figure out what it is that porn viewers like to see and deliver on these shots. On set, porn actors are often told to reposition themselves and whatever you see as the final product might have been shot in various stages before it was pieced together at the end. There are several Reddit threads where porn stars and producers answer questions about what it’s like to actually be on set. Here’s one we found interesting that reveals a lot about what goes on during filming.

(Read also “9 Sex Tips To Make The Cowgirl Position Even More Fun And Exciting“)

As we’ve mentioned in the previous point, porn directors are always after the best angles and are paid to figure out what viewers love seeing. Porn stars on the other hand, help viewers believe in that fantasy created by acting them out. They’re also getting paid handsomely to do it. Reddit user (who happens to work on adult film sets) confirms this by explaining that in order to get more money, these stars often have to perform more hardcore acts, including anal sex. For those who haven’t tried, anal sex can be painful if you don’t do it properly. In fact, it requires a bit of prep, such as getting rid of poop beforehand and starting small—which means his penis shouldn’t be the first thing that goes into your butt unprepped. Of course, porn leaves out all these details and makes it seem easier than it is.

We know the thought of having an orgasm with your man sounds romantic but there’s a small chance it happens the way it does in porn. Female porn stars often have orgasms during vaginal penetration but a 2017 study found that only 6% of women in their study have almost always experienced orgasms during vaginal intercourse. So not only is it rare for women to consistently experience an orgasm from vaginal stimulation, female porn stars could potentially be faking it as well. The fact is, most women stimulate their clitoris to reach the climax.

Finally, the elusive threesome scenes. Once again, porn is here to fill a fantasy and isn’t a reflection of real life. Threesomes take a really long time to plan out. Porn makes it really easy to believe that threesomes and other types of group sex happens without a hitch, but in reality, you gotta do your checks in making sure all parties are clean, consent to it and agree to partake in safe sex.

Also, if you partner blindfolds you and makes you think you’re having sex with him without telling you that you are, in fact, doing it with another man (which means, you did not agree to a threesome), that man can be charged with rape, and your partner will also be jailed, as demonstrated by a case that happened in Singapore.

This article was first published in Cleo.