As far as ancient practices go, feng shui is pretty popular when it comes to helping us determine the layout of our furniture, who we should date, or even what kind of pet we should get.
But now Feng Shui can even help bring positive energy to your sex life, according to Hong Kong feng shui interior designer Thierry Chow and couple-focused sex toy brand We-Vibe.
Having sex toys in the home can still come with stigma, but Chow believes they can be combined with feng shui principles to attract better energy, as well as de-stigmatize both subjects.
“Pleasure can be a big taboo in Asia, seldom discussed openly. Feng shui is sometimes considered ‘superstitious’. Even if it has helped us live better lives throughout thousands of years. I want to defend both as important wellness components of our lives, and send a message to Asia and beyond, that Self-Pleasure is not shameful,” says Chow. “When combined with feng shui principles, owning sex toys can help us build better energy with our partners in our living spaces”.
According to Sara Tang, Hong Kong-based sex therapist, “Feng Shui can be a very important vehicle to transmit in Asia and beyond a very clear message from a sexual wellness perspective: self-pleasure is not only an acceptable form of wellness, but also very much part of our lives and we should speak as normally about it as we do about other things such as feng shui. This is really relevant in our fast-paced lives of the 21st century”.
We spoke to both Chow and Tang about the different ways feng shui can improve your sex life.
Thierry Chow (TC): Using the 5-element principles (earth, metal, water, wood, fire) of feng shui from the book of I Ching, in relation to an external object (in this case We-Vibe sex toys) improves our internal energy through the mental health benefits that self-pleasure or pleasure with a partner provides, and therefore our sense of well-being.
Apart from rating the feng shui value of the external qualities in We-Vibe products such as primary colours and organic shapes, I also use the bagua, or the “energy map” to explain which “directions” or places in our homes can best fit We-Vibe sex toys for storage or for use to foster positive energy exchange, love and intimacy.
For example, water represents wisdom, as well as the emotional connection to others and the world around us, symbolizing better energy flow. It is connected with wavy shapes, which brings the best of We-Vibe’s Chorus in Blue. This 100% waterproof and most famous toy by We-Vibe is worn during intercourse so that both partners can enjoy it at the same time. Its squeezable remote is designed with the most natural human response in mind – the tighter you squeeze, the stronger the vibration gets.
TC: We would have to go back to the history of feng shui to answer that question. One of the main tools, the bagua was found in use as early as the 19th century, with one of the eight parts being Kun, relating to love and partnerships. People have been using feng shui to better their lives throughout thousands of years, throughout Asia. So, in that sense, there’s nothing new here.
While looking at love and relationships in feng shui has been around for a long time, the development of the relationship between feng shui and sex toys is one that has not been explored much. Sex toys have also improved their colour, design and technology quite recently. This surely deserves attention from a feng shui design point of view, as all those elements are related to it, and I am very fortunate to be able to explore this with We-Vibe this year.
TC: Feng Shui discusses energy flows, so colours and directions are always the most relevant. The same colour principles can be applied to what you wear, and this can also influence feng shui:
— Green and teal boost that sense of shared growth with you and your partner. In feng shui, green and teal represent wood, so adding a vibrator like the We-Vibe Touch X in Green Velvet to your bedside table or bedroom furniture will boost shared growth for you and your partner. The east location in your home is dedicated to personal development and social luck, the best spot of your house to use Touch X and explore personal growth.
— Red and bright orange is associated to fire, which in feng shui represents passion, inspiration and visibility. Wear something red and use the Tango X in Cherry Red in the kitchen, a fiery place of your home, to further boost its energy. Use it in the northeast direction of your home, as star no. 9 represents romance this year. Using a toy with the colour of passion there will boost romance this year!
— The colour blue represents wisdom as well as an emotional connection to others and the world around us for better energy flow.
— Purple – a sensual, calm but still romantic colour can be worn for a shared or solo sexual journey. This can be a strong activator for romance in the northeast corner of your space.
It’s good to be more aware of how colours make you feel, e.g. if a colour makes you more confident then wear them more often, and of course if a colour makes you feel beautiful and sexier, wear those more as well, especially to go on a date or to attract more positive energy in a relationship.
Also, feng shui is all about energy and the balance of energy, so therefore having an awareness of how our environment is making us feel can be very helpful as well (we a.re as healthy as we feel
Sara Tang (ST): Yes – many people have seen challenges in their intimate lives due to Covid. But that’s also compelled us to become more creative and incorporate new activities into our sexual repertoire such as sexting, using sex toys and sharing sexual fantasies, in order to adapt to the situation.
The pandemic has also made us pay more attention to our mental health, as we have experienced stress, sadness, and anxiety on unprecedented levels. As a result, more people recognise the importance of activities that bring sexual pleasure and wellbeing, in improving our mental health.
This article was first published in Women’s Weekly.