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5 winning strategies to move on with your life if you were ghosted

S / Sex & Love

5 winning strategies to move on with your life if you were ghosted

If ghosting is an exit strategy, then here’s your winning strategy for moving on gracefully

by Adora Wong  /   June 11, 2020

Have you been ghosted recently? Well, get this: ghosting is not anything new – it was a thing even before the invention of cell phones. Technology just made this exit strategy much more obvious, says Cherlyn Chong, a breakup recovery and dating coach.

“You can now connect with a stranger easily. And if you guys don’t share mutual friends, they can just vanish without backlash.”

She points out that the people who are the most likely to resort to ghosting are those who tend to avoid emotional closeness in relationships.

“They don’t want to handle the uncomfortable aspects of being honest with you and don’t want to deal with your emotional reaction. They’d rather hurt you silently than make themselves uncomfortable.”

Being ghosted sucks but you shouldn’t let get to you—their actions (or the lackthere of) say more about them than you. Cherlyn shares five tips on how you can deal with it in the best way possible.

READ NEXT

The Achieving Woman’s guide to…winning the online dating game

One date wonder: The real reason he ghosted after a great first date

Why love isn’t as picture-perfect as we see on social media

https://www.herworld.com/gallery/life/sex-love/ghosting-relationship-dating-tips/
5 winning strategies to move on with your life if you were ghosted
1. Decide How You Want To Get Closure
image

“You don’t have to chase them for a reply. More often than not, if you have to chase them, you’re just prolonging the inevitable. But if you want to give this person the benefit of the doubt, reach out with a message like, ‘Hey, I haven’t heard from you in a while. Is everything OK?’

If there’s no response even after two days, it’s best to move on. If you’re struggling with doing so, you might want to send one last message like, ‘It was nice getting to know you. I assume you are no longer interested. Wishing you the best!’ This not only allows you to demonstrate maturity, but also gain some closure.”

2. Rebuild Your Social Worth
image

“Ghosting hurts so much because it feels like ostracism. When you’re not given any explanation as to why you were rejected, you may blame yourself for the other person’s disappearing act.

An excellent way to combat the effects of ostracism is to simply rebuild your connection to society. Grab a good friend or two and head out. Talk to people, reaffirm your social status and get social cues that people do indeed like you. The sting will go away pretty fast.”

3. Talk To New Potential Partners
image

“Occupy yourself by chatting with new potential partners. Tweak your dating profile or sign up for more dating apps to talk to more people and schedule new dates.”

4. Be Grateful That You Didn't Waste More Time
image

“You should see things on a larger scale. Ghosting has been happening for a long time and you are not alone. If anything, being ghosted allows you to not waste your time on people who aren’t right for you. It’s a good thing.”

5. Move On With Your Life
image

“Be as fabulous as possible. The best ‘revenge’ is just to have a great time without the ghoster. It might also be because of their departure that you meet someone who actually wants to be present in your life.”

Read Next

What's ghosting and how can you deal with it in a relationship

One date wonder: The real reason he ghosted after a great first date

10 telltale signs you should 'ghost' someone you met on an online dating site

This article was first published in Cleo.

 

  • TAGS:
  • dating
  • ghosted
  • ghosting
  • online dating
  • relationship tips
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