Want to get it on with your man but simply can’t get in the mood? Stress, fatigue and anxiety are just some of the things that can dampen our desire for sex, but these shortcuts will get your engine going in no time.
Try these 10 ways to get sex-ready in no time.
Instead of the standard “What are you wearing?”, ask your partner to share his sexy thoughts and fantasies with you. Then, tell him what you want to do with him when you see him. Let your imagination run wild and be as graphic as you wish with your choice of words. The dirtier the talk the friskier you will feel, and by the time you meet your man you’ll both be ready for some hot action between the sheets.
A sexy photo shoot will get your libido soaring! Slip on a sexy camisole or teddy, or something belonging to your guy, like a soccer jersey or his favourite shirt and tie, and take a few teasing selfies. You don’t have to reveal too much – even a picture of your cleavage or butt will be enough to get him, and you, in the mood. If you can strike a couple of X-rated poses, even better.
You might already have a couple of trashy romance novels, but if not, go get one (second-hand bookstores are full of them). Pick a time during the day when you can relax, and allow your mind to be transported by the story. When you get to the sexy parts, picture yourself and your partner as the characters. Savour every graphic detail and try to visualise them, as if it were you and your guy performing those erotic acts.
If you have a favourite fantasy, write it out in an email to him. Be as descriptive as you can, so he’s clear about what you have in mind. Maybe you’d like to make love in the shower or dress up and role-play, or perhaps you just want sex that’s slow, passionate and sensual. Just writing out these fantasies will get your heart racing and have you looking forward to a steamy sex sesh!
If you’ve been anxious or rushed off your feet lately, take time out for yourself with a warm bath or shower. Lather up with your favourite scented shower gel or bath oil, and massage your body sensually, paying attention to how your fingers feel against your skin. Replace stressful thoughts with sexy ones, play some relaxing or romantic music in the background and allow your worries to melt away.
Touching yourself or playing with sex toys is a great way to discover your hotspots and find out what you like in bed. Before you meet with your guy, spend a little time exploring your body – maybe caressing your breasts or using a vibrator on yourself is what gets you excited – but don’t bring yourself to orgasm (you’ll have to exert some self-control here!). Instead, focus on your breathing, the pleasure you’re experiencing and the way your body feels. The point is to build up the sexual tension so that by the time you get with your man, your desire will be over the edge.
(Read also “Here’s Why Masturbating Is Good For You“)
Movies and songs have a way of bringing back memories or creating a particular mood. If there’s a film or tune that arouses your passion and brings out your lustful side, play it.
The next time you’re on a romantic date, leave your undies at home, if you feel comfortable enough. Some women say that “going commando” turns them on like nothing else. If you want to arouse your guy, tell him that you have nothing on under your dress – just picturing you without panties will drive him insane, in a good way!
Maybe your room doesn’t feel “romantic” enough, or when you’re making love with your man, you find it hard to focus because of all the clutter that’s around you. Make your space more conducive to lovemaking by getting rid of everything that doesn’t belong in it, or storing items so that they’re out of sight. Dress up your room with a vase of fragrant roses, add candles or a small lamp (dim lighting can really transform the ambience), and make sure your bedding is clean and smells fresh.
When we take care of ourselves, we feel good. When we feel good, we’re likely to feel more confident. And when we’re confident about ourselves, we’re also likely to feel sexier and more desirable. Dedicate an hour a week to making yourself look and feel your sexy best – condition your locks with a hair mask, shave your legs, apply a beautiful scented lotion after your shower, spray on some perfume (even if you’re going to be staying at home), and slip into some silky PJs or a feminine nightie.