10 of the biggest dating deal-breakers women have in Singapore

If there’s one thing you and your partner should do sooner rather than later, it’s to learn how to compromise in your relationship. Cherlyn Chong says, “Not willing to compromise indicates high stubbornness in a person and low in the personality trait of agreeableness. There’s also a chance that this person will be controlling as they want things done a certain way. There’s going to be a lot of butting heads with this person if we decide to date them, so to save ourselves the trouble, it’s best to date someone who is more flexible with their opinions.”

Let’s be real, there are a number of us who have experienced our fair share of toxic relationships and/or bad friends over the years, and if there’s one thing we’ve learned from all of these bad experiences, it’d have to be the fact that being around these people have negatively influenced us one way or another.

Here, Cherlyn mentions, “There’s a quote by speaker Jim Rohn where he says, “You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” And that’s very true. If this person consistently has friends who are dramatic, who lie, cheat or are frequently neurotic, there’s a high chance that they will be too.”

This particular deal-breaker tends to manifest in a number of different ways. The first and most common is the fact that women don’t want to date a slacker. Women tend to look for someone who’s ambitious or someone who’s working towards a goal. The second most common factor also extends to one’s lifestyle and living arrangements, and that includes being a slob and not taking care of oneself.

Cherlyn mentions, “It’s really hard to be in a relationship with someone who refuses to pull their own weight around, leaving you to pick up the pieces. It’s exhausting, draining and frustrating. You will be much better off with a harder working partner.”

Regardless of how many deal breakers exist in one’s relationship, there is always what you might call the mother of all deal breakers. And for some, the biggest red flag is someone who’s rude to waitstaff in restaurants. “Always pay attention to how someone treats the least important person in their lives. When the infatuation has worn off and the responsibilities of a long-term relationship kick in, they’ll likely treat you the same way too.” Cherlyn says.

In order for a relationship to succeed in the long run, both people have to feel as though they’re important to one another. However, if your partner takes you for granted, doesn’t appreciate you, or doesn’t make effort to prioritise you in their life, you might want to think twice about your relationship.

Cherlyn says, “If someone is not prioritizing time together with you, that person is simply not prioritizing you. Don’t be someone’s option.”

We can’t emphasise how important it is to keep your breath smelling fresh round the clock! Cherlyn mentions, “Sometimes bad breath can be due to a genuine medical condition, but more often than not, they are due to bad hygiene. And that can extend to other areas of their lives, like cleanliness and tidiness.”

Know of someone who’s guilty of not helping around the house? You’re not alone. Cherlyn says, “This is someone who isn’t high in the personality trait of conscientiousness, which is the desire to do things well and thoroughly. If this person is lazy about helping around the house, they’ll be lazy about the relationship too.”

It comes as no surprise that being messy has made it to the top ten dealbreakers in this list. While some of their little quirks including being messy are easy to overlook during the first few months into your relationship, it could also well be the reason you decide to end the relationship.

“True messiness is also an indicator of low conscientiousness. If that extends to the other areas of this person’s life, like they are chronic procrastinators or constantly late to appointments, it will be a frustrating relationship,” Cherlyn mentioned.

Having a boyfriend or girlfriend can be great, but there are a whole bunch of things that can get in the way of feeling content and happy, and in this case, more specifically, we’re talking about jealousy.

Cherlyn says, “Jealousy comes from a place of low self-worth and insecurity. It’s unattractive and constantly causes conflict. If you don’t want your partner questioning your every move when you are not with them, don’t date them.”

It doesn’t matter how attractive you may be, no matter how sexy or how cultured, or how whatever you are. If you can’t get along with partner’s family, then you’re out. Cherlyn says, “If your family is easy-going and generally nice to people, then not getting along with your family communicates low agreeableness and possible low openness in a partner. Many relationships have been torn apart due to conflicting loyalties, and it’s best to pick someone who is more easy-going and respectful.”

Read Next

Is your partner gaslighting? Here are the signs

More couples are breaking up amid the pandemic - here's why

Dating in Singapore: 3 in 4 unable to broach topic of sex