Sex is an integral part of the human experience, but for many, it can be a topic clouded with awkwardness stigma, and confusion. But how can we find ways to learn how to be more comfortable with sex, or learn how to be more sex positive?
What does sex positivity mean?
When it comes to a sex-positive approach, many terms come to mind;
- Pleasurable and consensual
- Part of our health and wellbeing
- Shame free
- Open conversations
Recognizing sexuality in ourselves and in others; owning it and being non-prejudiced of others; seeing the pleasure potential and understanding its contribution to wellness; this is sex positivity. An attitude that encourages warm invitations for people to discuss sex out in the open and look at sex from a different perspective.
Sexuality has long been stigmatised, with lots of miseducation and negativity. BUT this mindful approach breaks down what is societally expected and creates a new norm, one that is optimistic and progressive, inclusive and esteemed.
Why should I be more sex positive?
Developing this new behaviour and way of thinking not only allows us to see the world through a sexually constructive lens, but also ourselves! It can benefit us as individuals by expanding our curiosity about our own sexuality; encouraging exploration of our own bodies; validating our own desires and needs; and, opening up to new (consensual) experiences. This dynamic relationship between ‘me, myself and I’ doesn’t relate to our level of sex drive, but simply nurtures our experience of sex – solo or partnered. As we all know, working on our inner selves is where most progress starts, and when we do so, what we project into the world also changes. Whether it’s acknowledging other people’s sexuality and desires, or respecting others’ needs and pleasure.
What are ways that I can be more sex positive?
- Following accounts and joining Instagram communities that champion our bodies, sexuality and pleasure are a super way to introduce sprinkles of sex positive perspectives into your every day whilst diversifying your feed. Plus, it can make it easier for you to open up the conversation by sharing and posting what you love!
- Brushing up on your sex education has never been easier. Learning resources in 2020 are much more fun and adaptable to our lives and habits; you can learn on your run or squeeze lessons into break time with empowering podcasts, or take a free online teachable course to upskill. And no, these sex ed classes are not like the ones you had at school!
- Reflecting on our feelings and putting them down on paper is a timeless recommendation to gain perspective. Through journaling, we dedicate time for self-compassion and focus on ourselves; we create a physical and mental space to affirm our own sexuality!
The Pink Bits x Smile Makers Vulva Journal
In a collaboration with Pink Bits, sexual wellness brand Smile Makers have partnered with the Instagram illustrator to create a journal that will give you monthly doses of sex positive art and prompts. Called The Vulva Journal, this journal combines artistic expression and journaling, so you can have lots of sex positivity in one place. Follow prompts and activities throughout the year to learn more about your sexuality, and soon, you’ll come to find that you’ve crafted your very own self-love story.
From fantasies to periods, anal and equality; the journal covers all of that over the course of 12 months. Even if you don’t own the physical copy, here’s a guide as well as prompts you can follow for every month of the year.