Always wanted to have a taste of living abroad? Three women tell us what inspired their moves and how their experiences have shaped them.
Content creator Isabel Tan (@prettyfrowns), 26, relocated to New York City in 2019 in pursuit of a more fulfilling career, and spent three years preparing for the big move.
“The first time I explored the idea of living in NYC was during my first year in art school. My lecturer showed the class a video of an advertising agency that had a huge office – the whole floor of a building – and it was decorated with all the campaigns they’d done. It was like nothing I’d ever seen before!
At the time, being a content creator was a new concept, but I knew I wanted to be in a position to help brands execute creative campaigns. However, when I was working in Singapore, I often felt like I didn’t have the creative freedom I needed, and was at times told that the concepts I had pitched were more suited for the US market.
This made me seriously think about moving as I wanted to challenge myself. I hired an immigration lawyer to learn more about my options, but in order to apply for a visa, I needed to have a sponsor, a few job offers from potential clients and an impressive portfolio, so I began shuttling between NYC and Los Angeles to build my network. It helped that a few of the brands I’d worked with in Singapore wrote me recommendation letters, and I’m currently on an O-1 Visa: Individuals with Extraordinary Ability or Achievement.
I decided on NYC instead of LA because many brands are headquartered here, and it is full of opportunities. My favourite thing about living here is having the freedom to be who I am, and the opportunity to explore who I want to be; no one judges who you are or what you do for a living. That said, you have to be driven in order to survive here. I also love that, similar to Singapore, it’s a melting pot of so many cultures – but it’s even more diverse.
I’ve always been independent – I moved out of my parent’s house when I was 17 and have been living alone since I was 20. I’ve learnt to enjoy my own company, and I really enjoy living alone. In my free time, I check out new restaurants and museums, and during the warmer months, hang out at Central Park.
To me, it’s important to live abroad if you have the opportunity because it helps build character. I am so grateful to have been born and raised in Singapore – it’s safe, clean and life is comfortable – but living in a different country has opened my eyes to so many things and challenged my beliefs. I think it’s a great experience for anyone who is curious and has an open mind.
I make friends by just approaching people, and if I feel nervous, I tell myself, ‘The worst thing that can happen is rejection, but if I never try, I’ll never find out.’ And the thing is, most of the time, people are excited about having a conversation and exploring a new friendship. Of course, there are moments of loneliness, but I think it’s normal to feel that way from time to time – I don’t see it as a bad thing.
My advice for moving abroad? Get to know people. It’s good to be connected to people living in the city that you’re moving to, even if they are friends of friends, in case of an emergency.”
Tan Zi Jie, 33, moved to Bangkok early this year. The copywriter had always wanted to experience life outside of Singapore, but delayed her move by close to a year because of Covid-19.
“While I’m lucky to have been born in Singapore, I’ve always wondered what it would be like to live in a big country that isn’t just a city-state, as I wanted to be able to take short trips and be surrounded by nature on my off-days and weekends. Bangkok is a city that I, like many Singaporeans, am familiar with. Plus, I have a cousin here, so it felt like a good idea to come. But to be honest, it’s really because it’s where my job happens to be based – I’d been casually looking for an overseas-based job for several years, and this opportunity came up.
I remotely interviewed for the position and secured it in the middle of last year. However, due to the pandemic, I only decided to make the move when I felt that it was somewhat safe to do so. I also held it off because I wanted to get vaccinated back home, and in hindsight, it was a blessing in disguise – waiting made it possible for me to settle into my new job and get to know my colleagues (virtually) before moving, which eventually made the relocation process much smoother. It’d have been so stressful if I had to start a new job and settle into a new country at the same time.
The moving process wasn’t too hard since I had months to plan and settle my arrangements. I’d been living with my parents before moving, so thankfully, I’ve been able to leave most of my things with them and only brought the essentials over. That said, living alone is definitely a big adjustment, but I’m enjoying my own space and apartment now.
I really enjoy the creativity and vibrancy of Bangkok, and I think the Thais are truly warm and hospitable people. My favourite thing to do here is embark on weekend trips – I love exploring places outside of the busy metropolis, and to chill by the beach and hike. It’s the lifestyle I’ve always envisioned when I dreamt of moving overseas. Moments of loneliness are inevitable, but they are something I prepared myself for. Plus, I think they’re a part of the experience of living overseas alone, and will help deepen my personal development.
To me, living abroad is like starting on a clean slate and designing your life as you want it. If you’re not satisfied with the new set-up, you have the power to change your situation again. You definitely need to figure out a lot of things alone, but I don’t feel lonely because I’m used to it, and I enjoy my own company. It helps that I have a strong support system – I know that I can ask either my friends back home or in Bangkok for help if necessary.
Some advice for moving abroad: Take a self-defence course, which was what I did, and it gave me some grounding in psychological and physical self-defence. I’ve not had to use what I learnt, and hope that I’ll never need to, but I think it makes you more confident. And make sure you have a financial plan. Consider whether your financial goals can align with moving abroad, and check the tax rates. Missing out on CPF employee and employer contributions from a foreign job is actually a really big deal, so make sure you’ve done your sums and are prepared for that.”
Kissa Castaneda, 39, is currently living in Ireland, and splits her time between Dublin and Sligo, a town in the northern part of the republic of Ireland.
The editorial director and brand consultant made the move with her Irish husband and Yorkshire terrier late last year. “My husband and I have a goal of living between Europe and Asia, and this move is the first step in setting ourselves up in this continent, as we’ve already lived in many parts of Asia over the last decade. But even though we’ve moved many times, each move is different – while we always think we’re prepared, something always comes up at the last minute. It didn’t help that we didn’t get to hold proper farewell parties due to the Covid-19 restrictions.
When we moved, we brought our Yorkshire terrier Oscar over – he previously relocated with us from Hong Kong to Singapore. He was very well-behaved, but the flight attendant said that we had to absolutely keep him in his carrier as a cat was on the loose for five hours on a previous flight!
What I love about where I currently live in Sligo is the peace, fresh air, surrounding nature, and slower pace of life. I feel like I can finally breathe. I was born and raised in the Philippines and the Irish are very much like Filipinos: They’re friendly, family-centric, and have a great sense of humour. I spend my free time at the beach with my dog, checking out hotels and restaurants, and discovering new pubs. It’s great how pubs are not just places to drink, but also places to connect – they are multigenerational spots where it’s easy to get into good conversations with strangers. If I am alone, I like taking walks in the city just admiring interesting doors and buildings, as I adore Georgian architecture.
I’ve always believed that travel is the best education because you not only get to learn about another culture, but also learn more about yourself. Moreover, living abroad keeps you curious and compassionate, which are qualities that push you to live life to the fullest.
That said, I do miss the conveniences available in Singapore and in many Asian cities in general. Things are a bit different in Europe, and one needs to have a bit more patience. I also miss the sunshine, which does not make a daily appearance in Ireland!
When it comes to making friends, I think it helps to be proactive by joining a club or asking friends if they know anyone living in the same city. You also need to be mentally prepared for the unpredictable, because no matter how organised you are, there will be a spanner thrown in the works. That, and just enjoy the ride – don’t try to compare this versus that or how much things are. And make sure you learn how to cook your favourite dishes from home so you can recreate them when the cravings hit (and they will).”