You’ve heard of the phrase ‘new year, new you’, but what about ‘new year, new us’? The beginning of the year is a good time to take stock of your relationship and figure out how you can make it a happier one. Even if you think you already have a perfect relationship with your partner, there’s never any harm in making some changes to make it a more fulfilling one.
Here are 10 relationship resolutions for 2023 so you and your partner can enjoy each other a lot more.
This applies more to couples who have been together for a long time as you’re probably no longer at the phase where you’re holding hands when you’re out together or snuggling on the couch when you watch TV. When you’re physically intimate, it makes you emotionally intimate too, which will bring you closer to each other. Don’t worry, you don’t have to indulge in PDA to benefit from this. Change it up with a hug or kiss at a random time of day or initiate sex with it’s not a day (or place) you usually have it.
One of the best things in life is hearing our loved ones laugh – and it never gets old. It’s not just the sound of it that makes us happy though, it actually is beneficial for your relationship. For example, bringing humour into a tense situation is a good way of avoiding escalation. Cracking jokes during dinner or telling funny stories that happened during the day are ways to boost satisfaction in each other’s company. Ever had an awkward moment in bed? Laughing it off is usually the best way to deal with it.
Just make sure you’re not using humour negatively. Making fun of something you know your partner is insecure about is a no-no, as is laughing off their feelings about a situation. If done correctly, laughter will positively affect your relationship.
If you’re living together, you’ll definitely have hours in a day when you’re both in the house at the same time but looking at your respective phones instead of talking to each other. We get it, there are so many fun distractions on that little gadget but you should make the effort to engage with your partner more often. Set aside some ‘tech-free’ time in a day or on certain days of a week. And take this time to be together, even if it’s just sitting on the couch watching a movie.
“My husband and I have a rule that we can’t look at our phones for a couple of hours after we come home from work,” Lorna, 32, shares. “We have dinner together and chat about our day. If nothing much has happened and we don’t have a lot to share, we use this time to do a few small chores around the house or plan what we’re going to do over the coming weekend. There’s always something to talk about.”
It doesn’t matter what stage of the relationship you’re at, looking forward to what you’ll be doing in the future is a good way to bond with your partner. It might just be what you’ll be doing for the rest of the year, you don’t have to plan too far ahead if you’re still unsure about your relationship. It’ll give you both something to look forward to and decide whether or not you’re heading in the right direction as a couple.
Call it ‘date night’ if you want but you don’t have to slap a word on it if you don’t want to make it a ‘formal’ thing you do together. Schedule something for once a week or fortnight where you have zero distractions and can genuinely enjoy each other’s company. It could even be something simple as going for a walk.
If you’ve been living with each other for a few years, you might have spent more time than usual together during the pandemic with lockdowns and working from home but this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do things together anymore. And if you’ve just started living together, it’s a good way to bond.
“It’s tough to get time alone with two children so we try to get at least an hour just to ourselves once a week or fortnight,” says Sara, 34. “My sister comes over most Saturday afternoons to spend time with our kids so that gives my husband and I a chance to head out for some quality time.”
It’s easy to say we listen to our partner when they’re talking, but can you genuinely say you listen to their every word? Try not to interrupt one another when you’re talking and if you don’t understand anything about what they’re saying, ask. It’s a simple tip but one many of us forget when we’re so used to our partner and think we understand them very well. And this is especially important when you’re in the middle of an argument. Unnecessary misunderstandings can arise when you’re not listening to what the other person is actually saying.
If you’re in a new relationship, it’s a good way to explore your personalities and even get to know what your boundaries are. And if you’ve been together a long time, you’ve probably stopped flirting years ago so why not get your partner’s heart rate up again? Life gets in the way of romance and flirting will bring back the chemistry that was there at the start of your relationship. It could be an unexpected kiss or grope or a naughty text – get creative!
You might both have busy work schedules but this doesn’t mean you don’t communicate at all between 9am to 5pm. Send your partner a text once or twice a day or call them if you both have time for a quick chat.
“We’re both still working from home and especially on days when we know the other person is super busy, we make each other a cup of tea or coffee every now and then just to remind them we’re here and that we care,” says Dee, 37.
Just because you’re already committed to each other doesn’t mean you don’t have to remind your partner that you care. Remind yourself of little things about your partner that you’re really grateful for. Share these with them if you want to or just keep it to yourself so you can go back to them to remember what you love about him when you need a pick-me-up. And always take the time to say please, thank you and I love you – your love language is important and so is the actual language you use around each other.
Make it a point to be more forgiving towards your partner this year. There are two separate situations where this applies. Firstly, understand that your partner isn’t perfect and there are things about him you won’t like. Forgive the small stuff and appreciate the big picture of the man you’re with.
Also, when you have arguments, it’s important to resolve whatever it is and forgive and move on. If you forgive at that point in time but don’t forget about it, it’s inevitable that it’ll be brought up again – or at least be in your head – the next time you argue.