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Does sex make you emotional even if it’s good?

S / Shopping

Does sex make you emotional even if it’s good?

Here are seven reasons why you could be crying after sex

by Balvinder Sandhu  /   March 7, 2023

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Sex involves more than just getting it on between the sheets – or anywhere else. It isn’t just a physical act, there are various emotions involved too. The most obvious ones are love, pleasure and happiness. But there can also be negative emotions involved, such as anger, sadness and frustration. And any of these emotions we experience can sometimes be overwhelming during or after sex.

So if you’ve ever found yourself crying after sex of simply feeling emotional – even if the sex was good – know that this isn’t out of the ordinary. 

There are several reasons why you could be overcome by emotions during or after sex. Here are seven of them and what you can do if you’re finding it hard to deal with your overflow of emotions.

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Does sex make you emotional even if it's good?
You are extremely happy
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We don’t cry just because we’re sad. Happiness can lead to tears of joy too. So if you’re with a partner who you are deeply in love with, you could be overcome by feelings of happiness during or after sex. After all, sex is a way to bond with your partner, so this could remind you of your emotional state. If this is the reason you’re crying, it is perfectly okay to do so and you don’t need to do anything about it. But if your partner knows you’re crying and they’re worried about it, let them know why it’s happening, so that they don’t think it’s because they’ve done something wrong.

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You're unhappy in your relationship
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Yes, the opposite can be true too. If you’re having problems with your partner, the emotions you’ve been feeling could all boil over while you’re having sex. You need to decide if you want to carry on being in the relationship so either walk away or talk to your partner to resolve your issues.

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You're overwhelmed by life
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It’s not always easy to forget about everything that’s going on in your life when you’re getting it on with your partner. So if you’re trying to have sex but you can’t banish stressful thoughts from your head, you could get overly emotional.

There is also a range of hormones released during sex and when mixed with stress, you might find it just a tad too much to handle. Do your best to be in the moment when you’re with your partner and let go of all the stresses in your life for just those few minutes at least.

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It's your hormones
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As mentioned, a cocktail of hormones are released during sex and even though they’re meant to feel happy and content, they could be having the opposite effect depending on your situation. You could be extremely hormonal because you’re pregnant or going through fertility treatments. It could also be a case of PMS that’s making you feel sad or irritable. Take note if this is happening while you’re going through such situations – there’s not much you can do about it in such a case but at least you know there’s nothing to worry about.

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It's your orgasm
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You know that intense good feeling of an orgasm? That euphoria could be enough to make anyone highly emotional and bring you to tears. An orgasm could also bring about feelings of anxiety or sadness, thus leading to an overall negative state of mind. The other end of the spectrum involves not having an orgasm, leading to frustration or insecurity, and then tears.

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You experience pain during sex
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You could be crying out in pain too. Sex can be painful if you have conditions such as polycystic ovary syndrome or vaginismus. Or it could be a result of a lack of lubrication. Let your partner know if you’re feeling uncomfortable so that they can slow down or stop if needed.

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You have postcoital dysphoria (PCD)
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This is a condition that involves inexplicable feelings of tearfulness, sadness and/or irritability after sex, as its name suggests. These feelings can last anywhere between a few minutes and several hours. It’s important to note that these feelings arise when there are no discernible reasons for the person to have any negative emotions ie. the act was consensual and pleasurable.

You could have PCD on just a single or a few occasions, or it could be a regular part of your sexual experience. It doesn’t matter if it’s when you’re with a partner you’re in a serious relationship with or if it’s someone you’ve slept with for the first time.

A study was conducted in 2020 to find out if other symptoms were present and how they manifested, with 223 women and 76 men taking part. The most common symptoms in women were mood swings and sadness. Men, on the other hand, felt unhappy and had low energy. The frequency of postcoital symptoms also varied between men and women, with women reporting more feelings of sadness, worthlessness and frustration, as well as mood swings.

Take note of your symptoms if you think you have PCD and speak to a professional if you think you need help.

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