Sex & Love

Secrets to securing a second date if you've been a one-date-wonder

Always finding you’re a one-date-wonder? Can’t work out what goes wrong? Heed our tips to ensure he comes back for a second date, and a third, and a fourth…


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If you find it pretty easy to secure a first date but then there’s no follow-through, it’s probably how you’re behaving on the first date and thereafter.

Of course, sometimes people just don’t click, and that’s fair. You might find your interests too misaligned, or conversations too trying. There will also be times when you absolutely do not want to see him again, because his Tinder filtered profile was 8/10 but his real life image is more, erm, 3/10.

But if you constantly find yourself being ghosted after one date and you have no clue why, read on to gain some clarity.


1. Don’t have a first date in a club or cinema


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The venue for your first date plays a huge part. Clubbing / meeting up in loud noisy bars may seem like a fun and easy choice, but they hardly allow you two to get to know each other. Also, they offer other options for wandering eyes — not quite what you want on your first tryst.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, the cinema is the worst idea for a first date and yet ironically, quite a common choice. Sitting in silence in pitch black surrounded by other people isn’t going to to be a score for you, on any level.


2. Turn up to your first date on time


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Punctuality says a lot about another person. It shows you have integrity, can keep to plans and that you hold the date in high regard to be on time. If you stroll in 15 to 30 minutes late, it doesn’t make him more intrigued — just more annoyed, to be honest.


3. Don’t dress inappropriately for the first date


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Okay we firmly believe in self expression and feeling good about yourself, including your appearance, but there are some general rules to dressing for dates.

Men respect women more who leave a little to the imagination and who don’t feel the need to be overtly sexual. Basically, if you show up with your ladies showing in a plunging neckline, or worse, that paired wth a mini skirt, chances are, they’re only going to see you for one thing.

If you arrive dressed well and ‘nod’ towards sexy but still remain demure, you’re going to leave him wanting to see more, know more, be around you more.

Also, unless it’s a surprise date location, dress for the occasion. A walk along the beach front doesn’t need 9-inch platform heels. Nor does that 5-star restaurant mean sneakers and dungarees. Just saying.


4. Don’t overshare


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It’s good to share bits about yourself, to show that you’re open, honest and have nothing to hide. That being said, letting him know your parents divorced when you were five and you had to have counselling at 10 and then your pet rabbit passed away at 16 which made you distraught… this is an overshare.

You need to share enough about yourself to show you’re interested, but hold enough back that leaves him interested to see you again.


5. Talk about your hobbies, interests and things you do beyond work


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It’s easy to launch into a monologue about your work, seeing as that makes up most of your week. However, do remember to discuss things beyond this. It will make you come off as more well rounded — someone who isn’t defined just by their profession.

Talk about the latest movies, or what’s happening recently in the news. Or regale them with interesting stories about your travels. Anything works.