Sex & Love

Quit the chase! Seven reasons why you should never go after a man

You might think he'll fall for you sooner or later but the truth is, you really shouldn't chase a man
 

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Sometimes, we meet men who we are totally enamoured with, who don't reciprocate these feelings. The best thing to do is to let it be and move on with life. But some of us can't resist and give ourselves the challenge of nabbing him, using our feminine wiles – or anything else we have in our love arsenal. Yes, it's the 21st century and it's fine for women to make the first move but practically begging him to love you? That's a no-no. Here are seven reasons why you shouldn't chase him.

 

He's probably not interested

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If you have to pursue a man, there's a high chance he's not actually into you. It sounds harsh but it's the hard truth. Men generally don't need to be wooed and will be direct with you if they're interested in you as a romantic partner. Even if they don't say “I like you” straight to your face, it'll be pretty clear to figure out that they're attracted to you. You can't force someone to fall in love with you so if you have to make an effort to try to get him to be with you, you're better off not wasting your time.

 

He won't treat you well

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Well done to you if you manage to 'catch' him as a result of all that chasing but chances are, if you do get together, he'll take you for granted. Since he knows how much you want him without him even trying, he might treat you like a doormat because he knows you'll always be there for him. Okay, he might not actually trample all over you but it's likely he won't put much effort into the relationship and it'll be a one-sided one.  

 

It affects your self-esteem

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When you're chasing a man who doesn't reciprocate your feelings, it could end up backfiring and your self-esteem will take a hit. Not sealing the deal will make you lose confidence in yourself and your life decisions – “why can't I do anything right?”, you might ask yourself. It could be all fun and games at the start but when you realise you're not going to get him, it'll be huge blow to your ego. Why set yourself up for getting hurt when it's clear that the chances of it working out are slim?

 

You're not looking after yourself

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You're so busy trying to make him love you – or even just to get his attention – that you forget to take care of yourself. You're sacrificing your personal time after all, so you're giving up opportunities that would make you feel so much better, rather than deflate your ego. Don't neglect yourself because of a man, and certainly not when the man in question doesn't do anything for you in return.  

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You'll lose yourself

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When you're so focussed on someone else and how to make them happy, it's highly likely that you'll  lose your sense of independence. You suddenly forget what a strong woman you are and that you wouldn't usually do undignified things to make someone like you. So don't get hung up on him and back off while you still have your pride.

 

You'll be on an emotional rollercoaster

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It can get pretty stressful trying to plot your next move and your chase will also be filled with ups and downs as you go through the various motions (and emotions). You'll be flitting between happiness when he responds to your message to utter despair when you realise that you haven't heard from him in five days. It can get emotionally exhausting so get off this rollercoaster and get back to acting like a normal human being again.  

 

You shouldn't stroke his ego

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He hasn't given you many reasons to think that he digs you, yet you keep chasing him. He certainly doesn't deserve to get his ego stroked. You're only humiliating yourself and are probably a cause of embarrassment to your friends too (even if they won't tell you to your face). Why put yourself through this for a man who probably isn't even noticing what you're doing? You don't need this extra stress in your life.

 

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