Sex & Love

8 ways your social media is hindering you from finding a partner

Your status updates could be ruining your love life without you even knowing it

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Social media can be tough to scroll through when you're single and all your friends are coupled up. You're subjected to post after post of blissfully-happy couples doing anything and everything, while you're alone most of the time. But could your social media behaviour be ruining your chances of finding a boyfriend? Here are eight ways you could be sabotaging your love life.




#1: You're moaning about being single



Those updates you keep posting about how bored and lonely you are because you're single? They show how desperate you are to find a partner. And, in case you haven't heard, desperation isn't sexy. You also come across as needy and someone who can never be happy just by themselves. Nobody should be waiting for someone else to make them happy so live your life and don't scare men away by expressing how much you hate being single.


#2: You appear too self-sufficient

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Well, that's the polite way of putting it. What we actually mean is, you keep banging on about how you're having so much fun by yourself and that you're so glad you have your own space and don't have to answer to anyone, blah blah. Putting out I-don't-need-a-man vibes will certainly ensure that you never find one. So if you actually do want to be in a relationship, stop wrecking your chances of finding love by saying you are perfectly happy not being in one.


#3: You're very negative



Yes, us Singaporeans love to complain but you're taking things too far if all your posts are negative. Whether it's trolling on Twitter, trashing politicians on Facebook or posting photos of impolite service staff on Instagram, you're giving out negative vibes. Nobody wants a partner who constantly brings them down with their disapproving attitude so here's a high chance you're going to be single for a long time if you keep spouting such far-from-positive thoughts.


#4: You post too often

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It doesn't matter what you're posting about, if you're constantly updating throughout the day, it shows you have nothing better to do with your time or, worse still, you need a lot of attention. Posting photos of all your meals, updating everyone about your mood every few hours or sharing your opinions about every major (and minor) world event shows you have a high need for validation on social media. It's hard to want to date someone like that because you know every bit of your relationship will be advertised on social media too. Plus, it also shows you probably won't have much time for a partner in the first place.


#5: You take too many selfies

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As much as we hate to admit it, taking selfies is a sign of narcissism. It's okay to post selfies every now and then but if they appear on your social media accounts every day or (yikes!) a few times a day, that's not normal. You don't have to put your face in every photo you take, so if you want to post a photo of your lunch or the stunning scenery, capture just the objects you want to highlight. If your face appears in every single photo you post, it shows you're self obsessed. And that's not attractive to anyone.


#6: You have no filter



This can be displayed in a few ways, the most obvious being that you share too much about your life. This means that there's no mystery left – what else is there for your potential suitor to find out about you that will impress or surprise him? If he already knows everything about you – your daily routine, your hobbies, your deepest thoughts about world affairs – there's pretty much nothing left for him to ask you during the 'getting to know each other' phase. And, let's face it, where's the fun in that? Having no filter also means you'll say things that are offensive or you'll reveal things that not many people in your life should be privy to. Keep some things private between your close friends and family only – and the men you date, of course.


#7: You post cryptic statuses

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This is one of the most annoying things on social media, and it's an even bigger turn off for people who don't know you well. If you're always posting cryptic messages in your status updates, it shows you're an attention seeker – you're just waiting for people to ask “what's wrong?”, or other similar questions. You also appear self-indulgent and show that you like to play games. Face it, no man will willingly want to deal with that.


#8: You're on social media even when you're out

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Put the phone down when you're out. There could be a guy checking you out in the corner of the cafe but he's not going to approach you if you're more interested in your phone than what's around you. Sure, spend a few minutes taking a photo, hashtag it, post it, then enjoy your surroundings. Live a little – for real, not online.