When dating apps like Tinder and OK Cupid launched, no one stood up and said, “these just aren’t specific enough”.
Well, the tribe has spoken. Now, we’ve got an app for dog lovers and another for the gluten-free community. Those sound cute but how is a site for “ugly people” useful for humanity? From the looks of it, we’re no longer focused on “exploring our options”. Instead, we are just nitpicking potential mates. Well, I tried them all, anyway.
Gluten Free Singles
Photo: Gluten Free Singles
Thanks to this site, food preferences are now an actual dating requirement. When I asked why they couldn’t just list down their food preferences in their Tinder bio, the guys here said that their Tinder matches couldn’t handle the gluten-free diet. Well, if someone I just met told me that I’d have to forgo cereal forever, I’d hit the un-match button too, #noregrets.
Conclusion: This site is, at best, convenient for people who only want to date gluten-free. But when walls are put up, people lose tolerance (vegans are already getting hate for their meatfree ethics and have been wrongfully labelled as “attention-seeking”).
Its site tagline is “Tinder minus the poor people” and it’s kinda funny but also not. Getting on this site isn’t impossible - all you have to do is key in your annual income (it has to be above $300,000). Most of the people on Luxy are expats but there are a bunch of local men (cue photos of them in front of their luxe cars, at Keppel Bay and Sentosa Cove.) The bios aren’t weird, but the flexing on this platform? Overkill.
“You like travelling and I have a yacht. Wanna go for a spin?” came up as a frequent conversation starter. Unpopular opinion: No thank you because, er, I know what you did last summer.
Conclusion: It’s Tinder all right, with a ton of money traps. Its premium service Luxy Black lets you see who swiped right on you before you swipe, but I wouldn’t pay $99.90 a month just to make a rich app developer richer.
Photo: Ugly Schmucks
Apparently, this is the dating platform for you if you think you’re ugly. At least you won’t have to spend time choosing a profile picture - most people don’t even put up their pictures. Singaporean men take the fact that they’re on a site for ugly people quite seriously. A fella called Sam, for instance, said he was “an average guy, willing to chat with anyone. You don’t have to be pretty and as long as you don’t look like my cheating ex-girlfriend Sarah, we’ll get along”. Having low self-confidence is one thing, but to market yourself constantly as a sub-par person is akin to a fishmonger telling others that his fish aren’t fresh but won’t cause salmonella.
Conclusion: Trying to make “ugly” a positive term? Not gonna happen. This is either a troll website or a warped form of labelling - I don’t know which one wastes more time.
For pals who hate the same stuff (haters gonna hate… together!). It’s pretty straightforward: You sign up with your phone number or Facebook and swipe left to hate and right to love. The hate categories are actually relatable and not basic at all - you have “the slow walkers”, “paying extra for guacamole”, The Notebook and even “installing Ikea furniture”.
Conclusion: Swiping to hate or love things and people? This app gets some points for entertainment. Not many people in Singapore are on it yet but it’s slowly gaining traction. Hating on long queues for Michelin-starred noodles is a great way to warm up to a local, but what would we talk about on our first date if we already hate everything?
Here’s one for the crazy dog lovers. Read: You will need a dog. Here, the conversations typically centre on pup care and dog-walking fun. All pretty decent, and the guys here seem like actual dog lovers - they talk about their pups...a lot. Someone's sure to offer suggestions on anything from the gentlest shampoos to canine dental. There was also the odd troll who asked me if I’d tasted all 12 Royal Canin dog feed flavours - I told him I liked cats.
Conclusion: Walking your dogs together is an easy excuse for a date, but how well will you get to know the other person when most of your conversation is pet-focused? Also, it gets boring when the Botanic Gardens is the top suggestion for the first date. Honestly, this app is better suited for dog owners who are finding playmates for their furry pals.