Karl & Chanel Cruise in Singapore

Sure, Karl Lagerfeld is a blue blood when it comes to fashion royalty, but that “title” doesn’t seem to have fitted our beloved Kaiser Karl with a filter when it comes to his words.

Karl Lagerfeld, the legendary creative director of Chanel (among other fashionable jobs), will be in Singapore, to grace us with his presence for the 2013-14 Chanel Cruise Collection show. Singapore was handpicked to be the destination of choice this time round, previous shows have been held in Shanghai and Mumbai (although the Kaiser didn’t deign to visit the Indian city).

The fashion icon isn’t just known as a visionary in his field, he’s also noted for his preposterous, jaw-dropping sayings – something only someone of his stature could possibly pull off.  Shy wallflower, the Kaiser is definitely not.

Call him frank, brutally honest or just acid-tongued, there’s no doubt that Karl Lagerfeld’s quotes are right up there with the latest Ironman instalment when it comes to entertainment value.

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And even though we can’t stop ourselves from going “seriously?” after reading them, we wish we had an invite to his inner circle to hang out with him (and his fashionable posse) just so we could hear these pronouncements with our own ears.

So to pay homage to Lagerfeld, we thought it would be fitting to take a fond look back at some of his infamous words of wisdom …

On his life goal
“My only ambition in life … is to wear size 28 jeans.”

Likening himself to the goggle box
“Sometimes the best ideas I have are in my bathtub or in my bed or in my dreams early in the morning before waking up … I’m like a TV antennae, I catch it all and do it my way.”

Kate Middleton’s OK, Pippa is not.
“I don’t like the sister’s face. She should only show her back.”

On Adele’s BMI
“She is a little too fat, but she has a beautiful face and a divine voice.”

On wearing sweatpants
“A sign of defeat. You lost control of your life so you bought some sweatpants.”

Flip flops are a no-go
“I am physically allergic to them.”

Short, unattractive men can’t be his friends
“Life is not a beauty contest, some [ugly people] are great. What I hate is nasty, ugly people … the worst is ugly short men. Women can be short, but for men it is impossible.”

One is never enough
“The iPod is genius. I have 300.”

Fax machines are still in
“People I’m really friendly with have faxes. Anna Wintour has one.”

Why he doesn’t have kids
“They grow so fast, and having adult children makes you look 100-years-old. I don’t want that.”

Think before you ink
“I think tattoos are horrible. It’s like living in a Pucci dress full-time. If you’re young and tight, maybe it’s OK, but …”

Help is always good
“When I was four, I asked my mother for a valet for my birthday” (A valet here refers to a man’s male servant)

Truth in words
“Dieting is the only game where you win when you lose!”

Never being PC
“Be politically correct, but please don’t bother other people with conversation about being politically correct, because that’s the end of everything. You want to create boredom? Be politically correct in your conversation.”

Chanel boutiques in Singapore are located at Takashimaya Shopping Centre and The Shoppes at Marina Bay Sands. For more information about Chanel, go to www.chanel.com. Follow Chanel on Facebook at www.facebook.com/chanel and on Twitter at @CHANEL. You can follow Kaiser Karl on Twitter @KarlLagerfeld.