Before the “uglification” of fashion where everything had to be loud and statement-making for the ‘gram, you might not have thought much about the humble sock as a fashion accessory because after all, you probably aren’t a 1) Japanese streetwear goddess, 2) funky grandma in her ‘70s or… 3) Justin Trudeau.
But that’s also not to say that you shouldn’t be putting on a pair of socks that’ll put a smile on your face every time you look down, because chances are that if you’re stuck at a boring house party where you’ll need to drum up conversation, we say, let your feet do the talking.
1. Cotton socks, $6.90, Topshop
It’s in an inoffensive but millennial-friendly shade of pastel blue (aka the unpopular sibling of Rose Quartz), it has a pun on it (girls after all, just want to have puns…and equal opportunity rights) and if the shrimp embroidery isn’t the cutest thing ever, we don’t know what is.
2. Happy Socks x The Beatles cotton socks, $20.90, Tangs
To anybody who isn’t in the know, these are uh…socks…with cute fishes on them? But to you, an ailurophile who loves music, these are the fish illustrations from The Beatles’s Yellow Submarine. Either way, you can see how this pair is a pleaser to both audiences.
3. Cotton blend socks, $12.90, Freshly Pressed
It might take you a while to realise what the graphics are on these socks: Are they from an indie music album cover? Are they just randomly laid out to resemble “art”? Either way if you manage to figure them out, it’s the perfect pop of colour if you’re wearing darker colours on top.
4. Polyester blend socks, $6.99, Rubi
These are cool, aka the socks you might not want to wear around older folks who don’t understand “millennial language”. They’re speckled aka glittery, have the classic Tinder-quote-from-a-random-stranger that makes you giggle bout it with your girlfriends, and…Ramen, everybody loves Ramen!
5. Cotton blend socks, $12.90, WhenIWasFour
Before the wave of essential oils, every grandma purported Hammer oil as a cure-all for any illness or ailment. Although a nice gesture, we’d recommend you just urh, go to a proper doctor today. But if you ever need a gift for your foreigner friends that isn’t a cliché pin or keychain, they’re not going to complain about these.
6. Talking Toes cotton socks, $13, Naiise
Look past the ‘60s print of these socks and realise how fun they’re going to make you look. Under a dark suit, you’re that fun colleague whom everybody wants to drink with. With jeans and sneakers, you’re that laidback chick who loves to live life. With a dress and a pair of sandals, you’re old-school cool.
7. Cotton blend socks, $11.90, Zara
You want to try out something leopard print but a jacket, dress, or anything that covers too much of your body in that print freaks you out. Enter the leopard print socks: They’re functional and easy enough for you to incorporate into your wardrobe. Upgrade to a scarf next once you’re comfortable — you’re welcome.
8. Cotton blend socks, $9.00, Earnest & Collective
Nobody reaalllyyyy needs to know you bought this pair of funky geometric socks online (and there are many a funky print). They’re going to assume you bought it in a cool museum store because “wow, those geometric patterns!”. And that’s not a bad thing.
9. Cotton Minnie Socks, $29.40, Stance
If you haven’t noticed by now, Mickey is everywhere, on clothes, jewellery, watches, bags, etc. But maybe it’s time for his girlfriend (or wife? Or soulmate? What are they exactly???) Minnie to take the spotlight: Printed at least 30 times on a pair of socks you might just want to wear under boots to keep your feet warm and comfy.
10. Cotton 2-pack socks, $17.90, Bershka
What else is extreme besides the words on these socks? The price (You get two pairs after all), the fluorescent neon colours (how often do you find socks that aren’t pastel?), and how they’re gonna look popping out against the everyday white sneaker.