From The Straits Times    |

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It’s great when our friends like our man and vice versa but problems creep up when this isn’t the case. But you might not have to ditch your guy or your mates just yet – here are seven ways to deal with the situation.

Ask Him Why

Get to the point and ask him why he doesn’t like your friends. If it’s because he doesn’t like how they treat you, take a step back and re-evaluate your friendships (don’t just ditch them immediately, though). However, if it’s just because he finds he has not much in common with them, that’s really not your problem. Ignore it and remember that it’s okay if both of you don’t like the same people – as long as he’s not rude or hostile to them.

Is He Jealous?

Some men won’t like sharing you with others, even if these other people are friends you have known for years. So if you sense that jealousy is the reason – if he whines about you spending more time with your friends than with him or if he can’t give you a straight answer when you ask why he doesn’t like them – tread carefully because this could be a sign that he’s too controlling. And, if he forces you to stop seeing your friends, get out of the relationship – now.

Tell Him How You Feel

Be honest and tell him that him not liking your friends bothers you. If you want to carry on hanging out with them without him, tell him so, instead of doing it behind his back. You really don’t want to be lying to him, on top of dealing with the ‘issue’ of him not liking your friends.

Make An Effort

Don’t just dismiss the situation, try to make them get along. Organise get-togethers where you’ll all get the chance to chat and get to know each other better. He might not become best friends with them – and you don’t want him to either – but it might make him more accepting of them. Whatever you decide to do, don’t force it – let things happen naturally and don’t be upset if it doesn’t work. 

Don’t Tell Your Friends

The last thing you should do is tell your friends that your guy doesn’t like them. Not only will it lower their opinion of him, it might also make them biased against him and also hide things from you, which isn’t good when you want your friends to look out for you and make sure you’re with the right guy. And, of course, don’t drop your friends for no reason either.

Did You Encourage This?

Have a think about whether you influenced his impression of your friends. Do you constantly bitch about them to your man? Or perhaps complain about how unreliable or unreasonable they are? You might have made these comments casually but your guy might have already created a bad impression of your friends before even meeting them, thanks to what you have said about them.

It’s A Guy Thing

Is he okay with your female friends but not with your male friends? This could just be him being protective. If his reaction is casual – as in just a few comments here and there – just take it as your man being sweet and wanting to be the only man in your life. However, if he constantly asks you questions about your male friends, texts you non-stop when you’re with them or insists he goes with you too, it might be a case of him being very possessive and you need to tell him to back off.