From The Straits Times    |

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Q: I worry about how I taste and smell. How do I feel more secure about this?

A: As long as your intimate area is clean and you’re not suffering from any vaginal infections, you have nothing to worry about. Depending on the time of the month, your vaginal lubrication may have a slight musky scent, which most guys find arousing. As for the taste, it might be a little salty but it’s nothing your guy can’t handle.

Q: Should I stay silent or make some noise?

A: There are no rules – just do whatever makes you feel good. Although, if you’re enjoying what your guy is doing it wouldn’t hurt to voice your pleasure. Soft moaning is fine if you’re not into talking dirty or screaming. Moving your hips is also a good way to let your partner know that you’re having fun.

Q: How do I tell my man what to do without spoiling the moment?

A: No need to bark out orders; simply tell him what you like and don’t like. Phrases like “A little faster, babe”, “Can you move your head a little to the left, please?” and “That doesn’t feel comfortable – can you please try something else?” are perfect.

Q: I worry about what my partner is thinking when he looks at my labia. How do I get over this?

A: There’s no need to worry because when your guy is down there, all he’s concerned about is pleasing you. But if you’re self-conscious about the way your intimate area looks, dimming the lights or doing it by candlelight will make you feel better.

Q: Oral sex sometimes feels ticklish. I feel bad for laughing while my man is working hard down there. How do I address this?

A: Instead of focusing on how ticklish his tongue feels, pay attention to the pleasure that it is giving you. The more you focus on how good it feels, the more you will be able to relax and surrender to the moment.  

Q: Is vaginal squirting something to panic about?

A: So-called female “ejaculation” – when fluid shoots out of the vulva or vagina at the point of orgasm – is rare. But if it happens to you and you’re embarrassed by it, just place a couple of towels under your buttocks while receiving oral sex. When you feel yourself about to climax, warn your man so that he can move his head away.

Q: What if I accidentally pee while my guy is down there?

A: Just make sure you empty your bladder before you get intimate. Of course, accidents can and do happen, so if you leak while your man is pleasuring you orally, move his head away as quickly as you can and apologise. Placing a couple of towels under your butt will save your sheets.

Q: What if I have trouble climaxing?

A: Your main goal should be to enjoy yourself. But if you struggle to orgasm every single time, you may want to review your guy’s technique. Maybe he needs to try different movements with his tongue to work out where your sweet spot is. If you want him to finger you at the same time, ask him. Keep experimenting until you find your groove. And remember to relax!