This fish sperm novelty might be … hard to swallow
Confession time! I’ve plonked down a few Gs on caviar-infused creams in a single spree, so $300 is small change when it comes to beauty buys. Having said that, I’m fully aware that a three-digit sum for skincare is decidedly decadent for less loony folks out there … all the more so if it’s fish sperm (!) you’re slathering onto your face.
But first, a quick “primer” on the London-based beauty brand in question. Argentum Apothecary is synonymous with its superheroine salve – and quite rightly so, too, seeing as La Potion Infinie is loaded with incredibly impressive ingredients that read like classified compounds from a top-secret chem lab.
Each precious vial houses two vital actives: Silver hydrosol, particles of precious metal suspended in fluid that’s said to soothe everything from fine lines and acne to psoriasis and rosacea; and DNA HP, a seemingly innocuous acronym for a “natural marine sourced” extract the brand says is “based on the work of Nobel Prize-winning scientists”.
That’s all well and good – if a tad disingenuous. Do some digging and things get a little dicey (not to mention fishy). As it turns out, “marine sourced” appears to be a euphemism for milt, which in itself is a polite way of referring to the seminal fluid of fish. How very lovely.
To be fair, said Nobel Prize researchers have taken pains to play up the purity of the product, which also boasts a burgeoning body of evidence pointing to its potential in promoting collagen production. Then there’s the instant gratification by way of caffeine, which any skincare junkie worth her beauty salt will know aids in the drainage of excess fluid for an immediate tightening effect.
Non-comedogenic (fish sperm won’t clog pores; who knew?) and so concentrated you’re free to skip your regular serums, the bottle itself bears mentioning: Argentum Apothecary says it’s wrought from a protective glass that wards off damaging UV rays, prolonging the wrinkle-busting potency of the cream within.
Throw in thoughtful touches like a carefully calibrated bouquet of bergamot, Turkish rose and patchouli and you get a perfumed potion ripe with the promise of halting Old Father Time himself.
Truth be told, I’m wont to raise a Botoxed brow at face fads and would have dismissed La Potion Infinie as just another gimmick of the snake-oil variety … if not for the fact that my preternaturally unlined 50-year-old aunt procures this by the crateful whenever she’s passing through London. Fish sperm be damned, this is as convincing a personal testimony as any, if you ask me.
Now for the best bit. This hitherto Heathrow exclusive is now a hop, skip and click away at beauty e-shopping portal Luxola. And for the low, low price of $308, it’s credit cards at the ready!
Argentum Apothecary La Potion Infinie, $308 for 70 ml, is available for international shipping at www.luxola.com. For more information, visit argentumapothecary.co.uk and follow Luxola Singapore on Facebook and Twitter.
