From The Straits Times    |

PHOTO: Her World Brides Dec 2013 – Feb 2014

We’re not sure how to word our thank-you cards. What’s the least amount of information we need to put in it? There are so many gifts and it’s very tiring having to write thank-you notes for everything!
“Thank-yous” are time consuming, but it’s very poor to write notes like “Dear Aunty, Thanks for the picture album. Rachel.” She put time and effort (and money) into choosing your gift – the least you can do is pen a few sincere words in thanks. Write the note by hand as typewritten notes are impersonal. Mention the present and say why it will be useful. If it’s a hongbao, say “Thank you for your generous gift, we’ll use it to get a wedding photo album.”

I’m sure some friends are going to get drunk at the wedding. How do we make sure they’ll get home all right afterwards?
You shouldn’t have to nanny your guests, but make sure that the hotel staff are alert and can help look after the rowdier ones. Get your ushers or reception people to keep their eyes on the crowd in case someone gets drunk.

If someone is drunk, an usher can help him out of view and attend to him. It may be an idea to take their car keys. If he doesn’t have anyone to take him home, send him home in a cab. Keep taxi booking numbers handy. Some couples with the budget and patience even have a “standby” room for the party animals who need to sleep it off.

What if I’m late for the wedding? How do I ensure I’m on time?
It is bad manners to be late for a wedding whether you’re the bride, groom or a guest. Try to start your wedding on time. If you don’t, everything will run behind schedule, and that creates problems at your venue, especially if there’s another wedding scheduled after yours.

If hotel staff, musicians or transport drivers end up working overtime, you may find overtime charges added to your final bill. Appoint a timekeeper – an usher, bridesmaid or best man. He or she should have a timetable, mobile phone and a watch, and make sure everyone is where they’re supposed to be at the given time.

My sister got a lot of unwanted gifts at her wedding and we want to avoid this by specifying what we want in a registry. How do we let people know about it?
It’s inappropriate to inform people about your registry unless they ask. After all, you’ve invited them to your wedding and shouldn’t expect them to give you a present. Couples can enlist the support of their family and close friends to tactfully spread the word. Perhaps you could design your own wedding website with maps, telephone details, provide international guests with useful info, and inform them about your registry. There are free bulletin boards and websites you can use.

How do we invite just the heads of a large family without offending their children, their husbands and children?
It’s alright to invite only the heads of a family, or any other family members you prefer. Just make sure you invite thier spouses. Address the invitation individually, omitting their children’s names. When they RSVP, you may realise they think you’ve invited the entire family. You may then call or write to let them know that you had to control the numbers and that the event was planned for just the adults or family heads. Invite the family to join you for an informal dinner or barbecue to show you like their kids.

This article was originally published in Her World Brides Sept – Nov 2003.