PHOTOGRAPH: 123rf.com
The start of a new year is a great time to think about what you want the next few years of your life to look like. But, whether you long to be healthier and wealthier, or hope to have a more rewarding career or a better relationship with your spouse and kids, simply making resolutions isn’t the way to go. If you really want a fresh start, you have to create a solid foundation for lasting change – and that involves being honest with yourself about what you want, and then looking at the thoughts and habits that are holding you back from transforming your life for the better. If long-term, positive change is what you desire, forget “resolutions” and think “reboot”.
Why making resolutions doesn’t work
Resolutions are hard to stick to. Saying that you want to lose 10kg or save $10,000 is easy, but if you don’t include a step-by-step plan for achieving those goals and don’t understand how current behaviours and habits are limiting you, you may feel overwhelmed and lose all motivation to see your resolutions through.
“Most of us set ourselves these big and often impractical targets,” says Dr Lim Boon Leng, a psychiatrist at Dr BL Lim Centre For Psychological Wellness at Gleneagles Medical Centre. “For lasting change to occur, you not only have to have a plan, you also have to start small and go slow. When you start small, or break a big goal up into smaller goals, you’ll find the changes easier to implement and sustain. And when you go slow, you’re less likely to feel daunted and therefore more likely to stick to your goals.”
Your reboot plan
Once you’ve decided that this is the year you turn things around for yourself, you need to get a realistic reboot plan in order. To do this, you’ll need to first establish your goal and then ask yourself a few important questions to help you bring your intentions into clearer focus.
Finances
The goal: Most of us simply want to be able to save more or spend less, but you may also decide that this is the year you want to grow or invest the money you have.
But first, ask yourself:
- What does financial security mean to me?
- How much money do I want to save or invest?
- Why do I want to save or invest this amount in particular?
- What are my current saving and spending habits like? How have these been preventing me from acquiring wealth?
- Am I earning enough right now to save the amount I have in mind?
- If I set a budget for myself, will I be able to stick to it?
- What are my current debts and which ones can I afford to pay off first?
- Am I happy with the interest I’ve been earning on my savings/investments?
- Do I need a financial planner or advisor to help me sort out my finances?
- If my spouse or I were to suddenly lose our job, would our family have enough to live on for a while?
Tips to reboot your finances:
Always pay yourself first. We’ve all heard this many times – you can’t acquire wealth if you don’t save regularly. Keon Chee, director at Legasy Planners, an estate planning company, suggests saving 20 per cent of your salary every month. “Keep doing this and you won’t miss it after a while”.
Work towards paying off your most expensive debt first. If 25 per cent of your total debts are tied to your credit card, six per cent to your insurance, and two per cent to your mortgage, and you just received your year-end bonus, then it’s clear that you should pay your credit card debt first, says Keon.
“If I had a way to borrow on my insurance company to pay my card debt then I would, and I would never pay down my mortgage for the time being since it’s the cheapest debt. I would then ask my credit card company to make an automatic deduction from my current or savings account every month.”
Want to invest? Start small. Don’t think, analyse or stress out too much about it, says Keon. “Follow American billionaire Warren Buffet’s advice: You won’t make millions yet but you need to take the crucial first step. You may also wish to work with a financial advisor to help you with your financial goals.”
Read more: 5 warning signs that you’re in a debt crisis
Career
The goal: This may be the year you leave your current company for a better one, move up the career ladder, or make your current role more rewarding.
But first, ask yourself:
- What does career satisfaction mean to me?
- Am I really happy and thriving in my current job or company, and if not, why?
- Am I making the best use of my talents, skills and experience, and if not, why?
- Is there another role or company I’m interested in? What’s stopping me from making the leap?
- What do I really want out of my career in 2017 and the next few years?
- Are there any training courses I can do to help me move forward in my role?
Tips to reboot your career:
Remember: Employability is more important than having a job. A job is, here today, gone tomorrow, says Paul Heng, executive coach, and founder of Next Career Consulting Group, Asia. It’s therefore important to do what you need to do in order to make sure you’ll always be employable, be it brushing up on your certain skills or working on your professional image.
Read more: What to do if you lose your job in Singapore and have no savings
Keep building your skills. Never stop learning, whether on the job or through outside courses. A variety of skillsets is always better than one, Paul adds.
Network like there’s no tomorrow. “You never know whom you might meet,” says Paul. “That person might be able to help you with your career in some way. Don’t restrict yourself to local networks – if you can access regional or global networks, even better.”
Relationships
The goal: You want more quality time with your spouse, kids and other loved ones.
But first, ask yourself:
- What does “quality time” with the family mean to me?
- What’s stopping me from spending quality time with my spouse, kids, and loved ones right now?
- Have my spouse and children complained about not seeing me enough?
- If I had the time or energy to spend the day with my husband and kids, what would we do?
- How would my family benefit from my being around more and spending more time with them?
Tips to reboot your relationships:
Discuss your plans with your spouse. Daniel Koh, a psychologist at Insights Mind Centre suggests talking to your husband about how to improve the time you have together as a couple. “Review every aspect of your relationship from the last year – look at things like communication, sex, bonding, and so on,” Daniel says. “How did you fare in these areas? You should both look at what needs work and then draw up some plans from there.”
Read more: Tips to make your marriage exciting again
Engage in meaningful activities. Wanting to spend more quality time with your loved ones is one thing, but think about how you’re going to spend it, says Daniel. Watching a movie is relaxing but if your goal is to communicate more with your kids, then watching a movie won’t exactly help with this.
Learn how to draw boundaries. If spending more time with your family is important to you in 2017, then you must know how to say no to others who may be competing for that precious time. “Unless you set those boundaries, you’ll always find yourself strapped for time,” Daniel adds.
Health
The goal: To lose weight, eat better, and feel stronger and healthier
But first, ask yourself:
- How do I define being fit, strong and healthy?
- What has kept me from achieving my health goals up to this point? Am I just too busy to exercise or eat regular meals? Do I overeat when I’m stressed out? Do I believe that no matter what I do, I’ll never be fit and trim?
- Can I commit to embracing a healthy new lifestyle in 2017? Am I willing to put in the work and time that it takes to keep my body strong, lean and healthy?
- Why is it important for me to lose weight, eat better and feel healthier? How would I feel if I managed to accomplish this and how would it change my quality of life?
- Do I need expert medical help to get my weight under control?
Tips to reboot your health:
Watch for hidden sugars. You already know to avoid sugary foods and beverages, but Joan Liew, master trainer, and co-founder of Fitness Factory also says to watch for hidden sugars – in sauces, snack bars, and some low-fat foods like cereal and crackers.
“Sugar is a big contributor to weight gain, so if you minimise your intake you’ll help bring down the number on your weighing scale,” she says. “When buying packaged foods, read the label: a low-sugar product contains 5g of total sugars or less per 100g.”
Eat more white meat. Lean white protein keeps you full for longer, so you end up eating less. Plus, Joan says that it helps to preserve muscle mass and requires more energy to digest. Just a palm-sized serving per meal is sufficient.
Don’t be discouraged if you don’t see results right away. Healthy weight loss takes time. “If you haven’t exercised in a while, start slow and make sure the pace is sustainable or you’ll give up halfway,” says Joan. “I always advise women to add weight or resistance training to their workouts – this boosts your metabolism, prevents diseases like type 2 diabetes, and strengthens your muscles. And don’t worry, you won’t bulk up.”
Read more: 5 TCM tips for weight loss
How to stay on track to get the life you want
Dr Lim offers these tips for keeping your motivation levels up while you work to overhaul your life.
Reward yourself along the way. Every time you hit a small target, treat yourself to something inexpensive, or, if you’re watching your spending, try some positive self-talk. This will encourage you to keep striving.
Remember, you’re a work-in-progress. Change is constant, so think of your reboot as a journey rather than the destination. With this mind-set, you will find it easier to deal with any twists or turns that may occur along the way.
Slipped up? Learn from it. Mistakes happen but you shouldn’t let them stop you from moving forward. If you find yourself relapsing back to the undesired behaviour, ask yourself why it happened and see where you can tweak your reboot plans so that you don’t repeat the mistake.