From The Straits Times    |


Image: Corbis

Deciphering men’s thoughts about women, and about you in particular, can often involve seemingly endless bouts of teeth gritting and and hair pulling. But when it comes to settling down in a long-term relationship, most men look for certain traits and qualities in a woman.

Yes, men have a checklist, too.

1. A sense of humour
We don’t want to spend a good part of our lives with a man who thinks life is one gigantic downer. Likewise for men, they steer clear of a woman who only laughs manically at her self-perceived sad, miserable existence but frowns at other times. Leave the seriousness in the office; make each other laugh and you may be laughing down the aisle together.

2. Independence
A hint of a possessive streak is fine to show you care, but demanding a “report” of where he is and what he’s doing every other hour isn’t. As much as he enjoys being in a relationship, he needs his own space with his buddies and so do you. So go ahead and make time for your girlfriends or spend a weekend with your parents.

3. Girl-next-door vibes
Men may be visually drawn to scantily-clad women, and even be a little enticed by smokey-eyed vixens who swear like a sailor. But which of the two would they take home to meet mum? Neither. Unless the particular man you fancy is still in his angst-ridden teenage years, they will be looking for someone who doesn’t go clubbing every Saturday night or wear the tightest itsy-bitsy LBD for every other testosterone-filled man to ogle. Get rewarded with gold stars by doing simple things like spending time with your parents (bonus: see #2 above).

This doesn’t mean they’re into complete goody-two-shoes, though. Every man wishes for…

4. A wild streak
Or two. Nothing turns a man on more than when you transform from kitten to tigress in bed. Pretty self-explanatory, really. 

5. Be his best friend
Most men in a committed relationship consider their other half their best friend. It’s no surprise, though — you know how people often preach that boyfriends come and go, but friends last forever? Apply that notion to your relationship and you may reap the long-term benefits.

6. Stop faking it
If you think we’re hinting at the crucial moment during the throes of passion, you’re half right. Sometimes, we worry too much about impressing the man of our dreams that we forget one of the most important rules of dating: be ourselves. The truth, however slowly or quickly, will eventually leak out, especially if you’re both looking for a committed relationship. So stop pretending to agree with whatever he says or does if it goes against your beliefs.