You broke up months ago and you're convinced you're over him but the signs prove otherwise. It doesn't matter who put an end to the relationship, getting over your ex is not always easy but the trick is to admit you're done with him, then move on. Here are 10 ways to tell you're not over it.
1) You 'accidentally' end up where he hangs out
You know he always has a drink with his colleagues at a particular bar near his office on Friday evenings so you casually end up there with your friends some weeks too. Or you linger at the MRT station near his place around the time he usually reaches home. What do you think is going to happen when you bump into him? He's not going to suddenly realise you should totally be together again so quit the stalking – it really is a disturbing habit.
2) You still call it your song
Remember when he serenaded you with Ed Sheeran's Thinking Out Loud? He still comes to mind whenever you hear that tune now and all the feels wash over you once again. When you get to the stage where you go 'meh' every time you hear 'your' song, that's when you know you're over him.
3) You post about him online
Your social media posts still contain 'throwback' photos to when you were so happy together. Or, worse still, you're posting passive aggressive thoughts about him because you want your friends to know how you're so over him. You need to take a chill pill and not let him occupy your thoughts anymore, and not even crop up on your social media posts.
4) You talk about him with friends
Your close friends will rally around you and give you all the love and support you need when you first break up but they're not going to – and neither should they need to – have the patience to listen to you drone on and on about your ex. If it's been a few months and you're still mentioning him in convos with friends, you're definitely not over him.
5) You talk about him on dates
This is worse than talking about him with friends. If you're actually dating, it shows that you're trying to move on. But if you're still living in the past and bringing up your ex even with a new guy, it's a clear sign you're not over him. Don't be cruel to these new men, they deserve a woman who's ready to date with a clean slate.
6) You're constantly angry
You keep telling anyone who will listen to you that all men are a waste of time and that relationships never ever work so why bother? And when anyone asks if you're okay and if there's anything they can do to help you feel better, you shout at them and tell them to back off because you're FINE! Being angry with your ex, your situation and your life in general isn't going to make things better so take steps towards getting the closure you need so you can move on.
7) You still miss him
It's normal to think about an ex every now and then with a fond smile, as you replay a nice memory. It doesn't mean you still want to be with that person, it's that you're able to appreciate the good times, without being emotionally involved. But if you're pining after your ex and missing him 24/7, you need to fill the void he's left in your life in order to get over him. Pick up a hobby or arrange catch-ups with friends you haven't seen for a while – the more busy you are, the less you'll think about him.
8) You're holding out for a reunion
“This surely can't be the end of the relationship, can it? We're going to get back together, right? Because we're made for each other!” If this is how you're thinking, you're obviously not over him. Sure, there's always a chance you'll get back together someday – life is full of surprises after all – but you have to accept the fact that it's over for now.
9) You keep analysing
The movie of your relationship is on loop in your head and you're trying your best to figure out what went wrong and what you could've done to make things work. Apart from the fact that it's never good to think about 'what ifs' in life, looking back on what happened is only going to slow down your recovery so stop with the analysing already.
10) You stalk his social media accounts
You want to make sure he isn't seeing anyone new and it'll be a bonus if he's feeling as miserable as you. So you check his social media accounts five times a day just to see what he's up to. You need space between you and him in order to move on so stalking him online isn't going to help. Make the first move by changing your Facebook status to 'single' and you'll be slowly but surely on your way to getting over him.
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